Side Effects May Include

Well, all of my complaining must have taken root in Mike's brain because Friday night, after going to see Annie Lennox with my friend, Leigh - I came home to find these one the table!

The card says, "Happy Sweetest Day. I love you. Michael." Nice, huh? Naturally, I gushed about how pretty they are etc. Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) says that you must reward positive behavior. I know that's advice about dogs, but I think it probably works for husbands too. (Don't tell Mike I said that, though.) :D

After I sniffed the flowers and complimented him for an appropriate amount of time, I settled in to check my e-mail, read my blog roll and generally relax. Keep in mind, I'd had about five hours sleep, gone to work and then was out all evening having dinner and going to the concert with Leigh. We got back to the house just after midnight, so I'm tired and cranky. Anyway, I'm trying to relax and Mike's hovering, which drives me nuts. I'm trying not to be irritated but finally I was like, "Do you need the computer, sweet pea?" "No," he says. So I go back to what I was doing - until once again it's irritating me. "What? Why are you hovering? Do you need something?" I say. Mike smirks at me, "You can't be mean to me - I brought you flowers." I'm thinking, "Says who?" Since when does society mandate that I am required to be polite just because I was presented with a romantic boon? This is fishy to me. But, I'm still trying not to be churlish. I say, "I think Mr. Giunta (Furio) would like to watch tv with you in 'the boy's room'. Or the baby's tired...you could go lie down with her in the big bed." Mike looks affronted and (fake) haughtily says, "Fine...my flowers and I will go to bed now."

Mike still insists that I breached proper flower receiving etiquette! Eleven and one half years he has been my boyfriend/husband and in that time...that whole time...he has given me flowers a total of four times. He sent flowers on our six month anniversary (very smooth, actually), I basically forced him to buy me flowers on Valentine's Day a few years ago, two years ago he brought me flowers when he picked me up from working at the museum I worked at (and hated every second of working at) because he knew I hated to work there and was only doing it so we'd have money to pay for our wedding (very, very smooth) and then he brought me these flowers (smooth and sweet). I argued that I gave the requisite attention to the gesture! And messing with me on such an occasion (no sleep, stress, work, cranky) is a snappable offense - flowers or no flowers! And I didn't even snap! I merely made a polite suggestion that his time might be better spent in another vocation besides pestering me to death!

But I realize now I approached his claim inappropriately. Instead of arguing that I was clearly in the right (which I was), I should have said, "Oh...perhaps if I got flowers more often, I'd be more up to date on the proper etiquette." Why is it I always think of the perfect comeback after the moment has passed?! :D