Three posts in one day...this is INSANE!!!

I know! What the heck, right? But I'm bored. BOOOOOOOOOOORED. Mike went over to our former upstairs neighbor's house...or the FUN house, if you will. I wasn't feeling like sitting around watching them drink beer and watch the Michigan-Ohio State game, so I stayed behind.

I thought I'd give you a run down of the trip I took with my dad last week. It was lots of fun. Mike and I rolled into Iowa late and Dad and I were up and going early because we had to make the bus at 9 AM. The trip was something his company does every year. The have a "Silver Circle" club consisting of anyone who's worked for them for 25 years or more. My dad will have 31 years in February...on the day he officially retires. (My dad also refers to this as "The Old Farts" club.) But don't tell, ok? Shhhhhh! Aaaaaaanyway, every year, the company pays for a trip for the group. This year they took them up to Dubuque, IA for gambling, drinking and other debauchery. Ok, I made the debauchery part up. But there was gambling and drinking.

We drove up to Dubuque on two big charter buses. Believe me, I was relieved it wasn't a school bus. I had nightmares about all the trips we took when I was in school. On the ride up, they played games. Since part of the trip was at a casino, they were giving away cash prizes. I won all three of the real games. They had a word scramble, a trivia game and a find-a-word puzzle. The word scamble was up first and it had words that were found in a casino. Please. I'm married to Mike "Blackjack" Kurczewski and I've spent enough time with Fred (his dad) to know my way around the lingo, ok? This is an example of actual conversations we've had at my house:

Mike: Guess where my parents are going for their vacation this year!

Cindi: Somewhere with a casino?

Mike: Besides that.

I don't want to give the impression that they're gambling addicts, though. They're very responsible...they just love the casino. I don't get it, myself. My mom got it. All you had to do was suggest a trip down to "the boat" and her eyes'd light up. She got Mike hooked on those stupid scratch off tickets! She'd spend $10 on scratchers and be all excited because she won $2. I'd be like, "But you paid $10 to get $2 back! You lost $8!" and she'd say, "Well, I coulda lost $10." It's hard to argue with that...but it never quite made sense to me.

Back to my story...I was easily the winner of the casino word scramble game. I let my dad pick an envelope for me and I got $10. There was one $20 bill, several $10s and several $5s...so I was happy with $10. Then they played a "game" where they called out an every day item you'd have in your pocket, purse or wallet and then give a prize to whoever showed it first. I did not participate in this game. First of all, I thought it was dumb. Not my kind of thing at all. Secondly, my bag was put away in the overhead compartment and I was too lazy to get up and get it down. Then they played Turkey Trivia with all sorts of Thanksgiving facts. I won this game but they wouldn't let me get another envelope. The lady said, "You already won!" and I was like, "And?" I had the most answers correct with 14 - so I still won...prize or no prize. :D Then they played more of the "show me the item - win a prize" game. Again...I did not participate. This time I refused to participate not only for the above reasons but also because I was boycotting the "can't win twice" rule. The last game of the night was the Thanksgiving 'find a word' puzzle. I considered refraining from this game also but the lady was like, "And for this game, the prize will be an umbrella so anyone can win, even if you've won before." My competitive nature wouldn't allow me to not play then. There were 39 words to find on the puzzle. I have adopted a strategic search and destroy strategy and managed to find all the words quickly. To avoid any further complications, I gave the paper to my dad and told him to put his hand up. I knew she'd said anybody could win but I wasn't taking any chances. The lady was mildly surprised that anyone had found all the words and said she was giving prizes to first and second place. With all the words, my partner in crime and I easily took first place. The closest runner up was a lady in the back who had 22 words. I was absurdly proud of how badly I'd kicked ass...then I thought about it and realized that my big accomplishment was beating a bunch of sexagenarians who probably need bifocals to see the words on the page. I felt a little foolish for a minute...but then I thought about how it was raining outside and _I_ had won an umbrella for first place and I leaned back and smirked at them all. Ha! Losahs! As a friend of mine used to say (in junior high) '|_osah |_osah, \/\/anna be a \/\/innah.' There are hand gestures that go with that but I'll have to demonstrate those at a later date.

After arrival, we unloaded at a casino and ate at their buffet. It was adequate and I had a great discussion with one of the ladies about how Mike is going to step aside when Johnny Depp leaves the supermodel he's got two kids with and realizes we're meant to be together.

Then it was off to the Mississippi River Museum and Aquarium. Three words. Cool. as. Hell. It was! Truly. They had huge catfish and other weird looking critters, a lot of great stuff about the boats that used to travel down the river, an exhibit where you simulate driving a barge and a pretty decent gift shop! I took pictures for Mike and bought him a shirt that says, "What happens on the river, stays on the river" with a skull and cross-rowboat oars. He likes it.

Then we went back to the casino to wait for about an hour until it was time to head to the dinner theater where we were scheduled to eat and see a play that night. I decided to take $30 into the casino and play some blackjack to kill the time. I figured it would take me 10 minutes to lose it but I thought, "what the heck...it's only $30." 40 minutes later, I walked out with $60. Not a big win but still cool. I got to say "I doubled my money." for the rest of the night.

The play that night was a comedy called "The Regifters" about three couples who 'regift' a present and then find out that it was worth a lot of money. One gives it to another and so on down the line. It was quite witty with an often wicked bent. It was weird listening to sexual innuendos from onstage while sitting next to my dad, though. Kinda creepy. I will give you a recap of my father's favorite part. One of the couples are onstage when the wife sneezes. They've been fighting and don't appear to get along that well on an every day basis either. Anyway, the husband says, "God bless you." and the wife starts to tell him off because saying "God bless you" is an old and stupid custom with no basis in society today (basically). She tells him not to say it any more. A few minutes later, she sneezes again and her husband says, "God damn you to Hell" in place of "God Bless You." Probably much funnier when you're in the moment.

On the way home, they put on "The Rookie" - our bus had a dvd player and small tvs every few seats coming down from the ceiling. "The Rookie" is that Dennis Quaid movie about the chemistry teacher who promises his team if they win their division he'll try out for the major leagues again. At the beginning, I was like, "Kill me now." Buuuut, it was too dark to read or knit and I ended up watching the tv rather than staring out the window into the Iowa darkness. By the end, I'm having a conversation in my head with myself,:

"Oh, I hope they let him play in the big leagues."

"You are such a sap."

"This is a movie - it's Disney, they've got to let him play in the majors, right?"

"Shut up! You're making me sick!"

"Look! He's gonna play! He's gonna play!"

"Ugh."

Anyway, the trip all in all was a big success. I had a good time, ate good food, took pictures, bought presents for my husband and actually came home with a few dollars more than I'd left with!

Joy.