One day at a time

William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903
7. Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance 5
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 10
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate: 15
I am the captain of my soul.

Echoes

I was minding my own business, checking my email and fooling around online when all of a sudden, I missed Matt so much that it took my breath away.

I was as though I'd been transported back in time to the moment when Mom called me and said, "We've lost Matt." The same searing agony and gutwrenching nausea. The same shocked paralysis. The same desperate sense that there had been some kind of mistake.

It's happened before and it will probably happen again. But this time, there's something different. My mom's not here for me to call and make it all better. Gradually, the feeling subsided but it left behind a stray thought in my head which continues to echo within my brain as surely as if I'd climbed a mountain and shouted it.

"I want my mommy."

HA!

Check it? Did you say "check it"? Too funny. I snorted a little bit when I read it.

Wild about Man Vs. Wild

First of all this is not Cindi blogging, this is Mike. Anyways, I watched 2 episodes of Man Vs. Wild last night and was totally hooked. I also learned a lot of "practical survival knowledge" for someone living in a major U.S. city.

Check it - did you know that elephant dung has two practical purposes? The first is that you can squeeze it and draw water out of it to drink if you are phenomenally parched and the convenience store is out of Evian. Also if it's dried, you can light it to start a fire.

The next time that I'm charged by a huge, mean Black Rhino I know to stand totally still while it charges and dive out of the way at the very last second. He didn't say what the next step was but I think it would be to change your underbritches.

If Little Caesar's ever runs out of $5 'zas, I know that I can eat maggots as a source of calories and protein. Bear says to bite the heads off and then eat them, cuz the heads are the "nasty part." Never mind the part that holds the rotting flesh it just ate.

Gotta go, I got 4 more episodes to watch!

Hear Me Roar!

Ok. First of all, I was a little overly ambitious in my estimates last night. I said I was going to take a long walk to day and go to the gym. I have just returned from my long walk and I think it's safe to say that the gym is going to have to wait. I walked to the pharmacy and back. It felt like 40 miles but I figure it's about a mile and a half or so. My body is screaming from what it perceives as mistreatment. It's so hot that I thought I was going to throw up right after I got home. Although as the saying goes, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." I feel good, though, like I've accomplished something.

I didn't sleep well last night and woke up when Mike left for work after sleeping about four or five hours. Unable to get back to sleep, I read a book and tried to stay cool. I knew it was hot and sloppy outside and I had nearly convinced myself to forget about taking a walk today. Instead, I sucked it up about 12 this afternoon and decided to walk to the pharmacy to pick up some exfoliating scrub for my feet.

On the way home, I passed two goth kids heading, I assume, back to school after their lunch. I know this doesn't sound like anything but trust me, as someone who is usually the passed and not the passer, it was awesome. In a side note, I'd been coming up on them for three blocks before I realized one of the girls was a boy. What is up with that?

In a sudden topic change...am I the only person who's seen the Old Spice commercial with Bruce Campbell playing Hungry Like the Wolf on a piano, lounge act style? Perhaps it is my well known admiration for all things Bruce but this cheesy commercial absolutely cracks me up. Ah, Bruce, I do adore you.

Well - time to take a shower. I smell really bad.

Another cute little thing

My cats love this. They're fascinated by it.

The virtual kitten. Adorable.

Let's Go Mag-glio

How cute is Matt in this picture? Love it.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I'm just back from a quick trip to Michigan to visit the in-laws. My dad came up from Iowa on Friday afternoon and brought Breadeaux Pizza with him. My favorite! I was very excited because we can't get it here in Chicago. We set out for Michigan about 6:30 - hoping to avoid the worst of the Memorial Day weekend traffic. There was still a lot of traffic but I do think we did ourselves a favor by waiting a little bit before we took off. I remembered to take the portable dvd player this time and the trip really flew by for me!

The weekend was fun. I went shopping at Wal-Mart. That may sound pretty routine but it was a treat for me since we don't really have them here in the city. I needed some cheap summer clothes and I was able to get them. Plus I stocked up on underwear and socks! I also bought a Detroit Tigers t-shirt so that I could fit in with Mike's family. I have a lot of work to do, though, before I will be able to convince anyone I watch baseball. For starters, I can't remember the name of the guy whose shirt I have. I think it amuses Mike because even when I'm wearing it (it has the name and number on it) I'm like, "what's this guy's name again?" He's a pitcher. Justin, I think...something that starts with V? I'll ask Mike again in the morning and we'll see how long I retain the information. Hey...I'm making an effort, all right? :D

Mike was also amused at my expense because his mom told me I should have gotten Magglio's number because he's her favorite player and I came home and said that they didn't have any of his. Mike's like, "Yeah, they did." And I said, "Mike, I checked every shirt there when she said that he was her favorite...there was no Magglio shirt." Mike thought this was just hilarious. Apparently Magglio's his FIRST name. Geez - how do I know that? Yeesh.

Sunday was the b-b-q and dicey tournament. Mike lost his Polska crown to my dad. That's right! The title is currently held by a non-Polack. My father-in-law accused me of bringing in a ringer. I blame Laurie - the only Kurczewski-Piekarski member who didn't show. I have no real logic for this - it's just fun to blame Laurie. :D

I was, of course, knocked out in the first round. Boooooooooo. The top three places made it to the final round where they'd meet the top three from the other table. I traded second and third place back and forth with my brother-in-law, Scott for most of the game. Mike, Kristie and Uncle Gene had trouble getting on the board with a score and so I thought I was pretty safe. Then Mike rolled this HUGE 4,050 point roll in the second to last roll of the game to pass both me and Scott. Scott managed to stay ahead of me long enough to slide into the third place spot, effectively knocking me out of the running.

I didn't really mind being knocked out, though, as it gave me some free time which I spent outside playing with Baby JO-ey. He tried to convince me to play freeze tag but since he told me that I had to stay frozen until the sun went down if he caught me, I declined and we played I Spy instead. I'm pretty sure he cheats. Sneaky.

After the b-b-q, my mother-in-law and I got together the cloth swatches we'd gotten from Joann's to send to Sara for her quilt.

Note to Sara: We didn't trim down the fabric, we sent it all because I couldn't 100% remember the proper dimensions.

So those are packaged up and ready to be shipped out (hopefully tomorrow). I rely on Mike to do my mailing for me. It's such a pain for me to get to the post office and it's never a pleasant experience.

Then it was back home today. The cats were glad to see us but not as excited that my dad had come back with us. Meme is absolutely horrid when he's around and I don't understand it. The only thing we can figure is that she smells the puppies on him.

I took a 1.25 mile walk this evening which I was pretty psyched about. I plan on taking this walk every day this week and then making it longer next week and so on. Plus (theoretically) it's back to the gym tomorrow.

Mike has discovered this show called Man vs. Wild. Every episode, the guy..."Bear"...strands himself somewhere and has to survive. The first episode Mike watched, he was in Kenya. I happened out of the computer room and Mike said, "This show is awesome! This guy showed how, if you really need water, you can get it from elephant poop." I was like, "Excuse me?" Mike said, "For real. He picked up elephant poop, squeezed out some water and DRANK IT." If this wasn't enough for me, as I was standing there, he happened upon a dead zebra which had been brought down by lions and started to tell you how you can tell if the meat is still good to eat. I already knew that no good could come from this, so I headed for the kitchen. As I started to sort through some things we'd brought back from Michigan with us, I heard Mike yell from the front room, "Awwwww.....he's gnawing on it!" "Oh, gross...raw?" I hollered back. "Yeah. Oh...now he's putting some in his pouch to eat later." I refused to hear anymore. I went back into my little hidey-hole to block it out. I may not know what to do when a rhino charges you or how to get water from elephant poop but somehow I think I'll be alright. Every once in awhile, I heard Mike's "Heh heh heh" laugh and I'd known that "Bear" had done something else I consider to be gross or incredibly stupid but which Mike merely finds, "Cool." Like jumping into a frozen lake to show you how to survive hypothermia. That was in the second episode Mike watched.

Must be a man thing.

Sweet Home Chicago

Mike and I are back from a short weekend visit to Michigan. Mike went out to go and grab us a quick something for dinner and discovered that our car battery was dead. Oy. I hate coming back to reality.

Virtual Lite Brite!

Lite Brite!

Cleaning out my email

I am suffering with a bout of insomnia. This whole week's been pretty bad. I have pills to help but I'm afraid to take them more than once a week for fear that before long I'll be unable to sleep without them. I decided to take this time to clean out my email a little bit. I looked in my "All Mail" section to find that I've saved over 1200! I was pretty sure some of those could be deleted.

As I was weeding through and ruthlessly deleting, I came across this email from my mom. It's right after she'd discovered her saying.

Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2003 00:19:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "Linda"
Subject: Matthew
To: Lucinda
CC: Jeff

When I think of Matthew and I get tearful, I know it is really selfishness that makes me cry. I would not wish Matt back to make him suffer further, but I cry for me because I miss him so much, and that may not change. But I came across a page of those little inspirational sayings that might help a little.

"Don't cry because it's over, but smile because it happened,"

That's the way I would like to be able to handle dealing with Matt's death. I hope I'm not putting too much on you, but I thought it was worth sharing.

I kept it.

The grades are in!

**Ahem**
Cumulative GPA
3.945

Somebody call Baby Joey!

Tonight for dinner, Mike and I are having $5 pizza, which is Joey's favorite kind! I have been noticing all of the Little Caesar's restaurants around the city lately. Ever since I finally broke down and asked what the heck "$5 pizza" was. Joey's Aunty (Mike's mom), Mom (Mike's cousin, Andrea) and Grandma (Mike's Aunty Bren) were always joking about how much he loves it.

Since Joey's family is (probably) taking a short trip to Chicago this summer, I'm sure he'll be relieved to know that Mike and I can find the $5 pizza place.

My Weekend

What did we do this weekend, you ask? A LOT! We were barely home. We ate dinner with friends, shopped for a couple of new work polos for Mike, bought a dressy summer shirt for me, attended a dinner party with Mike's Hammond Health Dept. co-workers, slept in and missed church (oopsy), played kickball, drank beer, ate pulled pork and the weekend culminated in the ultimate....a movie. What movie you ask?


This one.

I love having the weekends to spend with Mike.

Mike, Rachael and Aaron

I was sorting through some of my pictures when I came across this one that we took in Michigan at a fruit farm. It always makes me a laugh, so I thought I'd share it.

Cat Tales and the anti-Switzerland

Mike informed me last night that Meme is going to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese tonight followed by a slumber party. She's going to play skeeball ("kebaw," in Meme speak) and maybe some whack-a-mole (whackmo). Also, she upset with Furio because he hit on her first grade teacher, Miss Henderson (Miss Hed-son). She's very happy about the Pistons moving on in the play-offs - she's still crazy about Tayshaun Prince (Tay-saw Pince).

I had thought that the Bulls-Pistons series was long over until I read in Kelly's blog that the Bulls had inexplicably won a couple of games. There was an almost apathetic feel around the city about the Bulls being in the play-offs. There was Bear-mania in the city even before they went to the play-offs simply because they were winning. And that year the Cubs were in the play-offs (and choked) it was nuts! I'm not sure we'll ever find out what the mood would be like in the city if the Blackhawks were in the playoffs - I don't think they'll ever make it to the playoffs.

When Chicago plays Detroit, we attempt to adapt some sort of neutrality treaty in the household. Like Switzerland. The same goes for Iowa/Michigan State games. It usually doesn't take. One of us can't seem to help taunting the other. And no it's not always me, Dad.

Mike told me to "break out the broom" just before Game 4 of the Bulls-Pistons series. Since I'm not a big basketball person, it didn't really bother me - I just kinda shook my head and rolled my eyes. Then I noticed that there was no follow up taunt that evening. I had to look up the score on nba.com and saw that (amazingly) the Bulls had won. After I'd looked it up, I sauntered into the living room where Mike was sitting on the couch watching tv and asked him who'd won the game. He muttered, "The Bulls won." To which I replied, "HA! I know. I checked the score online. In your FACE! I rule you!" (Sometimes I amaze even myself with my depth of maturity.) I know that I'm not interested in basketball...but I couldn't let a taunt go unanswered, could I?

Mike apparently has the same philosophy because last night he informed me that "Ben Wallace is breaking out his golf clubs about now."

La Vita Nuova

A little e.e. cummings in the morning

I made it!

Whew. I made it through my first mother's day as a motherless mongrel. I didn't do too badly, actually. I had a watery moment when Mike called his mom because I wanted to call MY mom so bad. But I made it - one day at a time.

Happy Mother's Day

This post is dedicated to my mom, Linda. Please take a moment today and say a prayer or light a candle in memory of her.

For Mom
Linda Harris, 01/18/49 - 08/25/06

"Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you." -- Saint Francis de Sales

YaY! Happy birthday, Aaron!