I have always enjoyed Irish blessings but this one may be my new favorite. At any rate, this is what I wish for all of you in 2007.
May the light always find you on a dreary day.
When you need to be home, may you find your way.
May you always have courage to take a chance
And never find frogs in your underpants.
12/31/2006
Cindi's New Year's Resolutions
In 2007, I resolve to:
*Go to the gym at least three times a week
*Drink more water and less pop
*Stop taking Mike for granted
*Go to church every week
*Answer emails in a more timely fashion
*Do one load of laundry every week day AND fold it AND put it away, as opposed to doing it and leaving it sit in a basket so that it gets wrinkled
*Dedicate at least two hours each day to studying
*Go out to eat no more than one time per week
*Eat fast food no more than once per month
*Go to the library more and the book store less
*Knit everyone in my family something for next Christmas (oh, stop whining, we'll give you other stuff too) ;)
*Learn to crochet
*Write in my journal three times a week
*Be more positive in my blog entries
*Blog at least three times a week
*Try not to nag as much (shut up, Dad)
I expect to see your resolutions, too! That's what comments are for. '
And, in the new year -
May your days be gold in the rays of the sun;
May your nights be silver in the light of the moon;
May Jesus welcome you when life is done;
But, God willing, may it not be soon;
May breezes brush soft against your face;
May shamrocks and roses line your way;
May you be bathed in God's bounteous grace;
And may you be given that for which you pray.
-a Blessing for Friends by Andrew M. Greeley
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
*Go to the gym at least three times a week
*Drink more water and less pop
*Stop taking Mike for granted
*Go to church every week
*Answer emails in a more timely fashion
*Do one load of laundry every week day AND fold it AND put it away, as opposed to doing it and leaving it sit in a basket so that it gets wrinkled
*Dedicate at least two hours each day to studying
*Go out to eat no more than one time per week
*Eat fast food no more than once per month
*Go to the library more and the book store less
*Knit everyone in my family something for next Christmas (oh, stop whining, we'll give you other stuff too) ;)
*Learn to crochet
*Write in my journal three times a week
*Be more positive in my blog entries
*Blog at least three times a week
*Try not to nag as much (shut up, Dad)
I expect to see your resolutions, too! That's what comments are for. '
And, in the new year -
May your days be gold in the rays of the sun;
May your nights be silver in the light of the moon;
May Jesus welcome you when life is done;
But, God willing, may it not be soon;
May breezes brush soft against your face;
May shamrocks and roses line your way;
May you be bathed in God's bounteous grace;
And may you be given that for which you pray.
-a Blessing for Friends by Andrew M. Greeley
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Random News
Apparently, I am not blogging enough to satisfy my dad, who has mentioned no less than three times that I need to write another entry. Apparently Tiffany Ford's not enough for my old man, I gotta write something new. I'm gonna get him a blog so that I can email him and be like, "Yo! You need to update your blog." As it so happens, I was ready to update anyways, so he had nothing to do with it. Ha!
But anyways, it's New Year's Eve and I'm preparing my list of New Year's Resolutions, which I will be posting later (you hope).
I've also registered for my classes at Loyola University. The prestigious Loyola University. That's what I told Mike he's supposed to say when he tells people where I'm going to school. When I was working at the bank in Michigan, eons ago, I had a cubicle across the aisle from a man named Paul Maran. He was a salesman for the warehouse lending department with which I was a funding coordinator. Every work day, I would find myself listening to him on the phone with clients while I completed paperwork and approved mortgages. I am not exaggerating when I say that he told every one about how his daughter was moving to New York so she could go to Columbia. "My daughter's been accepted to the prestigious Columbia University." I don't know how many times I heard that but it got to be a running joke with Mike and I - especially after Mike came to meet me for lunch one day and heard him saying it. It's been long enough that I'm not sure exactly how he sounded but in my head he sounds a lot like Woody Allen.
Last night, I took Mike out on a date night. He sort of giggled and acted like the whole thing was a little silly - until I told him he could pick any restaurant he wanted and that I was taking him to see the David Mamet play, "American Buffalo" at a small theater on the Northside. I also bought him a present to give in lieu of flowers, which I knew wouldn't do much for him. He'd be like, "Oh...flowers. Huh." The play was really good. We sat in the front row and were close enough to be nicked by flying debris. One of the characters has...uh...anger management issues and likes to kick, hit and throw things. A couple of the times he'd grab something and start smashing things with it and occasionally shrapnel was ejected into the audience. One of the reviews I read said something about the actor who plays "Teach" - that he was so convincing that the audience members were afraid of him. I'm telling you what - I was ready to get up and move back a couple of rows. I also go a bit of random spit on me when another character was being beaten on the stage right in front of me. It sounds gross but it was actually just really cool to me. Mike has joined the program and seems to think the occasional "Date Night" is a good idea. Although whenever he says it, he sings it. "Daaaaaaaate Niiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
Mike and I went to eat at Clara's today. Cheap breakfast and the best hash browns in the city of Chicago. Yummy.
Our plans for New Year's Eve are still in limbo a bit. We had talked about going down to Navy Pier where there'll be midnight fireworks but then Jason and Sarah called and invited us out to the 'burbs to hang out with them at Jason's mom's place. I would love to hang out with Sarah but the midnight fireworks sounded really fun to me. I've become a true Chicago snob. The 'burbs? Who wants to go to the 'burbs? C'mon!
I've also been a little bummed out about my upcoming birthday. Not because I'll be turning 30. Well, maybe a little because I'll be turning 30 - but mostly because my plans to take a celebratory trip have been squelched by the city of Chicago. Did you know that it takes a year before you get any vacation or personal time after you're hired. Geez. My mom's not here to throw me a party and I'm fairly certain my dad's not gonna do it. I always get included by the Kurczewski side of the family when they throw a party for Mike, which is super nice, but it's always after my actual birthday and this year (who knows why) I feel like I HAVE to do something either the day of or before. I can't turn 30 without some sort of fanfare. I think that the anticipation of celebrating it has kept me from being depressed about it and now that there's no trip or getaway, I'm on the verge of being sad about it. On the plus side, I have two and a half months to think of some way to greet my 30th year properly. I just can't think of anywhere that's close enough and cost effective enough to go for just a weekend. And I think it's probably tacky to throw yourself a party. Mike's always accusing me of trying to get people to give me presents - he'd probably have a seizure if I said I was going to throw myself a birthday party. You can all do me a big favor by starting to suggest things Mike can do/buy/take me to that will make my 30th memorable. He'll be grateful for the help.
Other than that, I can't think of too much that's new. Mike installed my Brita water faucet last night and it was oddly anti-climactic - after demanding that someone buy it for me for two years, the reality has been a bit of a disappointment. On the other hand, I always have water in the house, so it'll save a ton of money and be super convenient. I guess it was just so much fun complaining about not having it that the reality of actually having it can't compete. I'm so complicated. :D Mike calls it high-maintenance. Pfft. Whatever.
Oh - and my dad's birthday is tomorrow. Make sure you drop him an email to wish him a happy 70th birthday. Ha! (Take that, old man.) ;)
Happy New Year's!
But anyways, it's New Year's Eve and I'm preparing my list of New Year's Resolutions, which I will be posting later (you hope).
I've also registered for my classes at Loyola University. The prestigious Loyola University. That's what I told Mike he's supposed to say when he tells people where I'm going to school. When I was working at the bank in Michigan, eons ago, I had a cubicle across the aisle from a man named Paul Maran. He was a salesman for the warehouse lending department with which I was a funding coordinator. Every work day, I would find myself listening to him on the phone with clients while I completed paperwork and approved mortgages. I am not exaggerating when I say that he told every one about how his daughter was moving to New York so she could go to Columbia. "My daughter's been accepted to the prestigious Columbia University." I don't know how many times I heard that but it got to be a running joke with Mike and I - especially after Mike came to meet me for lunch one day and heard him saying it. It's been long enough that I'm not sure exactly how he sounded but in my head he sounds a lot like Woody Allen.
Last night, I took Mike out on a date night. He sort of giggled and acted like the whole thing was a little silly - until I told him he could pick any restaurant he wanted and that I was taking him to see the David Mamet play, "American Buffalo" at a small theater on the Northside. I also bought him a present to give in lieu of flowers, which I knew wouldn't do much for him. He'd be like, "Oh...flowers. Huh." The play was really good. We sat in the front row and were close enough to be nicked by flying debris. One of the characters has...uh...anger management issues and likes to kick, hit and throw things. A couple of the times he'd grab something and start smashing things with it and occasionally shrapnel was ejected into the audience. One of the reviews I read said something about the actor who plays "Teach" - that he was so convincing that the audience members were afraid of him. I'm telling you what - I was ready to get up and move back a couple of rows. I also go a bit of random spit on me when another character was being beaten on the stage right in front of me. It sounds gross but it was actually just really cool to me. Mike has joined the program and seems to think the occasional "Date Night" is a good idea. Although whenever he says it, he sings it. "Daaaaaaaate Niiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
Mike and I went to eat at Clara's today. Cheap breakfast and the best hash browns in the city of Chicago. Yummy.
Our plans for New Year's Eve are still in limbo a bit. We had talked about going down to Navy Pier where there'll be midnight fireworks but then Jason and Sarah called and invited us out to the 'burbs to hang out with them at Jason's mom's place. I would love to hang out with Sarah but the midnight fireworks sounded really fun to me. I've become a true Chicago snob. The 'burbs? Who wants to go to the 'burbs? C'mon!
I've also been a little bummed out about my upcoming birthday. Not because I'll be turning 30. Well, maybe a little because I'll be turning 30 - but mostly because my plans to take a celebratory trip have been squelched by the city of Chicago. Did you know that it takes a year before you get any vacation or personal time after you're hired. Geez. My mom's not here to throw me a party and I'm fairly certain my dad's not gonna do it. I always get included by the Kurczewski side of the family when they throw a party for Mike, which is super nice, but it's always after my actual birthday and this year (who knows why) I feel like I HAVE to do something either the day of or before. I can't turn 30 without some sort of fanfare. I think that the anticipation of celebrating it has kept me from being depressed about it and now that there's no trip or getaway, I'm on the verge of being sad about it. On the plus side, I have two and a half months to think of some way to greet my 30th year properly. I just can't think of anywhere that's close enough and cost effective enough to go for just a weekend. And I think it's probably tacky to throw yourself a party. Mike's always accusing me of trying to get people to give me presents - he'd probably have a seizure if I said I was going to throw myself a birthday party. You can all do me a big favor by starting to suggest things Mike can do/buy/take me to that will make my 30th memorable. He'll be grateful for the help.
Other than that, I can't think of too much that's new. Mike installed my Brita water faucet last night and it was oddly anti-climactic - after demanding that someone buy it for me for two years, the reality has been a bit of a disappointment. On the other hand, I always have water in the house, so it'll save a ton of money and be super convenient. I guess it was just so much fun complaining about not having it that the reality of actually having it can't compete. I'm so complicated. :D Mike calls it high-maintenance. Pfft. Whatever.
Oh - and my dad's birthday is tomorrow. Make sure you drop him an email to wish him a happy 70th birthday. Ha! (Take that, old man.) ;)
Happy New Year's!
Birthday Mania!
Happy birthday to my friend, Allyson from The Sweatshop of Love. She teaches me to knit and we entertain each other. She's a younger, as-cute-as-me-in-some-cultures-maybe-cuter version of me, I swear! I went to her house for a knitting class and it was like she'd stolen my bookshelves. She is the only other person on earth (that I know of) who owns a copy of Harold Bloom's Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human. She turns 23. When I thought about that, I nearly went online and ordered a bottle of Geratol. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
12/17/2006
Happy birthday to you
Today is Tiffany Ford's birthday. Who is Tiffany Ford, you ask? Well, back when I was in junior high, you were only as cool as the height of your bangs. The higher your bangs, the cooler you were. High bangs didn't necessarily guarantee popularity...but they were cool. A status symbol. Tiffany Ford had the highest bangs I have ever seen - to date, in fact. She had grown her bangs out to where, if they'd hung down, they would have rivaled a "Smells Like Teen Spirit"-video Kurt Cobain. But she didn't let them hang down. She somehow got them to defy the very laws of gravity and stand up as straight as a Buckingham Palace guard for several inches before the ends...the very tips...curled over into a gracefully arched curl. Gradually, her bangs feathered down into a brown cascade until it joined the rest of her hair on the side. In the years since, it still remains a feat I have never seen duplicated. Her hairspray costs must have been outrageous!
Why do I remember it's her birthday? Geez, I dunno. I just took a look at the date on my earlier post and that was the first thing that popped into my head. "Oh, today is Tiffany Ford's birthday." I haven't seen her in at least 11 years. It's funny the random facts our brains remember.
So, anyway, happy birthday, Tiffany Ford - wherever you may be.
Why do I remember it's her birthday? Geez, I dunno. I just took a look at the date on my earlier post and that was the first thing that popped into my head. "Oh, today is Tiffany Ford's birthday." I haven't seen her in at least 11 years. It's funny the random facts our brains remember.
So, anyway, happy birthday, Tiffany Ford - wherever you may be.
The Kurczewski's First Annual Holiday Extravaganza
My extravaganza is no more - we extravaganza'd it up last night and it was quite pleasant, I must say. Everyone chatted, ate, drank and was merry. My friend Sarah's 15 month old daughter, Lyric, entertained us all with her baby sign language, animal noises and general cuteness. My niece, Bailey (the pug), wound her way through the throng and into the hearts of everyone who attended with her puppy snorts and stub tail wiggles. AND, Mike's friend Jason managed to stay sober until the party had mostly broken up. When people began to make their way out, the guys made their way into the spare room for some poker at which point Jason managed (over a period of time) to down most of a bottle of whiskey. But that's a story for another post.
The dim point in the evening was when my dad rang my cell phone to tell me that my mom's big sister, my aunt Kathryn, died last night. Kathryn had recently found out she had cancer but we definitely had no idea this was coming. I'm still not even sure what happened. I was worried about my Uncle Mike because with her death, it made his second sister to die within three and a half months. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling right now. Aunt Kathryn always lived far away from us. I talked to her on the phone a lot, always got cards from her and exchanged letters but only ever saw her face to face a handful of times. I'm so sad because she was family and she was always very good to me. I'm sad because her family has lost her - and I can remember only too well what the first few days feel like after losing your parent. I'm sad because my uncles Mike and John have lost another sister. But I'm also happy. I'm so happy because now my mother has what she always wished for - a chance to spend time with her big sister. I'm happy because she's with Mom, Matt, her parents and her son Kurt. I'm happy because she's beyond pain now and how could I ever wish her back to this earth to deal with cancer treatments and cataract surgeries?
I guess I can only leave you with my mom's saying aka my (not-so-new-now) personal mantra from Dr. Seuss. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Eva Kathryn Parker Doerr
2/27/1937 - 12/16/2006
The dim point in the evening was when my dad rang my cell phone to tell me that my mom's big sister, my aunt Kathryn, died last night. Kathryn had recently found out she had cancer but we definitely had no idea this was coming. I'm still not even sure what happened. I was worried about my Uncle Mike because with her death, it made his second sister to die within three and a half months. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling right now. Aunt Kathryn always lived far away from us. I talked to her on the phone a lot, always got cards from her and exchanged letters but only ever saw her face to face a handful of times. I'm so sad because she was family and she was always very good to me. I'm sad because her family has lost her - and I can remember only too well what the first few days feel like after losing your parent. I'm sad because my uncles Mike and John have lost another sister. But I'm also happy. I'm so happy because now my mother has what she always wished for - a chance to spend time with her big sister. I'm happy because she's with Mom, Matt, her parents and her son Kurt. I'm happy because she's beyond pain now and how could I ever wish her back to this earth to deal with cancer treatments and cataract surgeries?
I guess I can only leave you with my mom's saying aka my (not-so-new-now) personal mantra from Dr. Seuss. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Eva Kathryn Parker Doerr
2/27/1937 - 12/16/2006
12/10/2006
I just can't have nice things
Today I fried my cell phone. When I realized I'd ruined it, I cried and I cried and I cried. Mike couldn't figure out what I was so upset about. Then I called my dad, hysterical, scaring the crap out of him. I'm sure he had pictured me with broken bones or being arrested. On top of the fact that it will cost in the neighborhood of $450 to replace, I have ruined the last present my mother gave me before she shuffled forth the mortal coil. It also had pictures on it of the last time I saw my mom. When my mom gave me this phone(the last days we spent together before she died), she told me, "When I die and there's not much for you to inherit, I want you to remember that I gave you things while I was living." And now I've ruined it.
When I was little and I'd break something, my mom would angrily tell me, "You just can't take care of things!" It was meant to sting and it always did. I still am most chastised when someone accuses me of being careless with things. But she was right. I was terrible about remembering where I put things and/or putting them back where they belong. To this day I generally don't buy myself really expensive things because I am too absent minded. When I realized what I'd done, I kept thinking, "You're so stupid! You can't take care of anything!"
I'm so upset about this and it's JUST a phone. Mike keeps telling me that. My dad told me that it could have happened to anyone and does on a regular basis. I keep trying to tell myself that but it feels like this just spotlights all of my faults. It's as if I've proven that my mother was right all those years ago and I can't stop letting her down even when she's dead. I just can't take care of things.
I'm hoping sleep and a new day will bring some clarity to my brain and I'll stop beating myself up over this but right now I feel as bad about this as I ever felt about anything I ever broke when I was young.
Why can't I just get a grip?
When I was little and I'd break something, my mom would angrily tell me, "You just can't take care of things!" It was meant to sting and it always did. I still am most chastised when someone accuses me of being careless with things. But she was right. I was terrible about remembering where I put things and/or putting them back where they belong. To this day I generally don't buy myself really expensive things because I am too absent minded. When I realized what I'd done, I kept thinking, "You're so stupid! You can't take care of anything!"
I'm so upset about this and it's JUST a phone. Mike keeps telling me that. My dad told me that it could have happened to anyone and does on a regular basis. I keep trying to tell myself that but it feels like this just spotlights all of my faults. It's as if I've proven that my mother was right all those years ago and I can't stop letting her down even when she's dead. I just can't take care of things.
I'm hoping sleep and a new day will bring some clarity to my brain and I'll stop beating myself up over this but right now I feel as bad about this as I ever felt about anything I ever broke when I was young.
Why can't I just get a grip?
12/08/2006
Cry Baby Cry
I spent most of the day today in tears because I missed my mom so much.
Then I went to the City of Hammond's Christmas party with Mike and had a really great time chatting with everybody again. We got invited to a wedding in Mexico in a few months - and it will be SO cool if we can go. Just jet down for a weekend since we won't have actual vacation. Hopefully the airfare won't be too expensive and we can think about going.
Upon getting home I found a package from my dad sitting on my porch. Included were three packages of chocolate from Maxwell's...which is a holiday tradition story for another day. Also in the package was the ornament with my mom's name on it from the candlelight ceremony at the funeral home that held her memorial service.
And now I'm sniffling again.
"I'm grieving...it's a process. " - Billy Crystal in Analyze That
Then I went to the City of Hammond's Christmas party with Mike and had a really great time chatting with everybody again. We got invited to a wedding in Mexico in a few months - and it will be SO cool if we can go. Just jet down for a weekend since we won't have actual vacation. Hopefully the airfare won't be too expensive and we can think about going.
Upon getting home I found a package from my dad sitting on my porch. Included were three packages of chocolate from Maxwell's...which is a holiday tradition story for another day. Also in the package was the ornament with my mom's name on it from the candlelight ceremony at the funeral home that held her memorial service.
And now I'm sniffling again.
"I'm grieving...it's a process. " - Billy Crystal in Analyze That
12/05/2006
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
I want this guy's cd for Christmas. His name is Jake Shimabukuro and I love his version of George Harrison's song. I adore it. Really.
If it won't come up for you here, you can also view it here.
If it won't come up for you here, you can also view it here.
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