For those who were not in the room when I told the story, what Mike is referencing in his last blog entry is the time that he went outside, upstairs and to a bar with our neighbor/Mike's kickball captain, Jason. He was gone from about 3 in the afternoon (when the kickball game ended) until roughly 11:30 pm or midnight. He didn't stay out really late or anything...but it was clear that he has spent that entire eight to nine hour period boozing it up. He was skunk drunk when he staggered in. This was rather amusing in and of itself. However, the greatest entertainment of the night was to be the fact that he got home, came in through the back door and went right into the bedroom. I went to stand in the doorway and Mike was sitting on the bed taking off his tennis shoes. He looked up and saw me and the only thing that he said was, "I don't feel too good." He then fell into bed. I don't mean that in the sense that he was so tired he went straight to bed that night. I mean, the man literally *fell* into bed. He turned, looked down at the pillow and did a total face plant. He didn't move again for seven hours when it was time for him to get up and go to work.
There is definitely kickball fever in the air on Dickens St. these days. There are five people living in our building and four of the five people are on the kickball team. I'm the odd (wo)man out. The team only requires one girl for the team and I'm glad to turn that responsibility over to Sara who lives upstairs. I have, however, gotten finagled into the position of "official scorekeeper." That is my small but valuable contribution to the team. After the games, some of us congregate in the backyard for grilling/beer drinking and the kickball captain makes a lot of comments like, "We're f-ing awesome! We're easily the best kickball team in the league. Mike, buddy, you're my f-ing ace in the hole. You're an f-ing all-star, dude." It's funny as hell.
Anyway, as you have all (probably) read, Mike is on the all-star team. There will be much beer drinking and partying (for which I am not eager to shell out money). Therefore, I am tentatively organizing the first annual Feline Bachelor Charity Auction benefiting the Save the Beers Foundation. Mr. Furio Giunta-Cat Kurczewski has agreed to be our first celebrity bachelor and I'm hoping to get Silvio Dante Potter and Louie Potter to agree to participate as well. If I'm unable to snag the Potter Felis domestica then I will switch to a raffle which I will call, "Win a Date with Mr. Giunta." Tickets will sell for $2 a piece or 6 for $10. If this also fails to garner the necessary funds (although I do not see how it possibly could...Mr. Giunta is undoubtably handsome and in demand) then Mr. Giunta has proposed selling "protection." Give us money and he (and MeMe) won't be forced to mess up you...or your house. Have you seen our chairs? Don't give them a reason! Plus...he's got canine muscle...Delilah, Talulah, Chloe and Scarlett...and these bitches (what? they're all female!) will mess....you....up.
Send money. We know where you live.
3 comments:
sorry to ruin your plan, but silvio already has a girlfriend, his muse, clover. strangley, he does not realize (nor did we for months) that clover is in fact a boy cat. when we told silvio he told us that HIS clover was a different neighborhood cat....either way it's ok with us. we're open-minded.
Cindi does an excellent job imitating Mike when he *fell* into the bed that nite, ask her to do it for you the next time you see her!! You'll love it! Mike didn't mention that you're the scorekeeper, Cindi, is that how Mike's team made it into the finals?? Or was a head-butt involved, similar to the one that happened in the final World Cup Soccer game?? Hahahahahaha!!!
Ducky is definitely in for the long haul. Protection would be right up her alley.(if you need confirmation, call Mussie Raub from next door.) Deli could only do local as she doesn't care to travel. Chloe and Scarlett would love to help you out, but just had their nails done(literally) Katie Scarlett O'Harris actually said tweedle dee I don't want to think about it today, I'll think about it tomorrow.--I'm not sure where that came from. Give them a day or two to get organized. They would expect a portion of the proceeds.
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