This post is rated "R"

I wanted to call this post " (the upstairs neighbor (TUN)'s name) is a big fat psycho" so that if anyone ever googled his name there was a chance it would come up. But I decided that naming names could just escalate a situation which has already been put to bed. (Supposedly). Besides, he already knows I think he's a psycho because I was quite vocal with the landlord and the word "psycho" was both a noun and an adjective.

We had a small incident with TUN about three weeks ago when we got home from spending the week in Michigan. To preface the story, let me tell you that when he and his pregnant girlfriend moved in upstairs, Mike and I stopped parking in the two spots behind the house. Until that point we would occasionally park in the spots but not constantly. The landlord wanted $50 extra a month to rent a parking space. Mike and I said we were happy parking on the street and he said that until another tenant came we could park back there sometimes if we wanted. When TUNs moved in, they decided to pay the extra money to rent a spot for their broken down ford escort hatchback. Whatever...no skin off of our nose. Now there are two spots behind the house and the landlord told us that we could still park there once in awhile if we wanted to but Mike and I didn't want there to be any sort of misunderstanding between us and TUNs if they found out we parked there without paying extra for it.

Then suddenly one day in the late fall/early winter, their car disappeared. We were having dinner or something with the landlord and he mentioned that they told him that they'd gotten rid of their car. My personal opinion is that the piece of crap broke down and so they either can't afford to fix it or don't want to fix it because they had a baby about two weeks after they moved in and it just seems stupid to me to decide to "get rid of" your car with a newborn. But I digress...the landlord told us that we were welcome to park back there because TUNs didn't have a car anymore. Despite this, Mike and I still only rarely parked behind the house. It's fenced in and to be honest, it's really a bit of a pain to get out, open the gate, park, get out, close the gate etc. It's so much easier just to park on the street along side the building. About the only time we pulled up behind was when we had groceries or there was no easy parking to be had.

Now, back to the story. About three weeks ago, TUN knocked on our back door. POUNDED would be more like it. I would have thought that the police were stopping back if it had been the front. I opened it and he rudely insisted that we move our car right that instant. He then turned around and stomped through the store room and out the back door, letting it slam behind him. While I was really pissed at his attitude, (especially since there are TWO spots back there) I asked Mike to move the car. He did. As I was telling the landlord about the incident, he said that he already knew about it. The man who was with TUN was a friend of the landlord's. He had told the landlord that he felt sorry for us living under TUN and told him about how rude and belligerent he was with us. The landlord offered to intervene and talk to TUN about it and I declined. I told him I wanted him to be aware of what was going on in case we got into an argument or had further problems with TUN.

**This is where the post gets R rated due to adult language as I'll be quoting the psycho.

Fast forward to Friday night. Mike parked behind the house and headed out to see his beloved WEW via the Chicago Transit Authority. After Mike had been gone about 30 minutes, I hear a pounding on the backdoor. I opened it and TUN was there once again demanding that I move the car.

Me: "Sorry but I don't have the keys and Mike's not home."
Psycho: "Well where the fuck am I supposed to park."
Me: "I'm sorry but I don't know what to tell you. I don't have the keys."

The psycho slams his fist into the wall next to my door and turns to stomp away. As he's walking out of the store room he says, "Well you better fucking move it as soon as you can!" Then he slams the door and I hear him kicking around the stuff on the back porch area while he screams at the top of his lungs, "I paid for that fucking parking spot! Bitch."

At this point, I freaked out. I'm home alone, he's going whackjob in the back yard and I have no idea how many people he has with him and/or what he's capable of. I tried to call the landlord and got his voicemail. I called Mike, who told me to call the landlord. Then I hear the psycho stomp up the front steps, enter his apartment and start screaming about us some more. I mean, he's talking so loud that I can hear what he is saying through the ceiling. His rant doesn't last too long, thankfully. (I learned later that it was because the landlord had been upstairs visiting with the psycho's girlfriend and told him that he needed to chill out.)

The landlord came down after he got my message. He'd left his cell phone upstairs in his apartment on the charger. I went off! I had spent the whole evening feeling isolated and apprehensive because I knew that the psycho was upstairs with his buddies getting tanked. Matthew (the landlord) sat with me for a couple of hours until just before Mike got home and we agreed to meet the next morning for a breakfast meeting to come to some sort of compromise.

At breakfast, Mike and I volunteered to stop parking behind the house entirely. In return, the psycho is not allowed to speak to me period. Matt said he'd gone back upstairs and told him that TUN was to go through Matt if he had anything to say to us. If for some reason, he HAD to speak to us that he was to do it in a polite and respectful manner. Matt also said that further outbursts on his part could affect whether or not TUNs' lease is renewed. We'll see, I guess.