Are the stars out tonight?

If I had to pin down one thing that I miss about not living in Iowa, I would have to say it would be the stars. On a clear night, you can see eternity. You don't get skies like that in Chicago. Even when it's clear, there is a big city haze that prevents you from seeing the pinpoints of light. When I was a kid, I used to lay in the yard and look up at the night sky. Life seems so much simpler under an Iowa sky. When I couldn't sleep last night, I lay down on the grass in the yard, looked up at that clear star-filled sky and listened to my MP3 player - contemplating the universe unfolded before me and my place within it.

My friend Amy's mom tells a story about her parents which I always think about now when I'm star-gazing. Wanda lost both of her parents within four months of each other in late 2003/early 2004. Her mom had cancer and it slowly killed her. Then just after the new year, her father went to Iowa City for a doctor's appointment and had a massive heart attack in the waiting room. Wanda says that as she was driving home following her mom's death, she noticed an especially bright star which she thought seemed to follow her home. She saw this star out in the night sky every night. A few days after her father's death, she noticed a second especially bright star in a separate part of the sky. Every night for the next few months, she says, she watched those stars get closer and closer together in the night sky until finally they sat in the sky side by side where she still sees them. Her father had found her mother and they now sit together in that night sky forever.

Do I believe that Matt and my mom have become stars in the night sky? Not really - but I think it's a great story and one that brings a lot of comfort to Amy's mom where nothing else did. I will say this, though. As I lay there in the grass, staring up at a sky overflowing with those beautiful gaseous bodies, the song "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley came through my headphones. If you haven't heard that song, check it out. A hauntingly, sad and beautiful melody. Anyway, this song came through on my headphones and I felt so peaceful. I haven't felt truly good and at peace in over seven weeks. I didn't feel alone. It was as if those stars truly were shining souls surrounding me. I revelled in that feeling for as long as it lasted and for those minutes it was as if the last few weeks had never happened.

Whether people go to a place called Heaven or merely take their spot among the other heavenly bodies, one thing is clear to me. Everything is better under an Iowa sky.