I must have missed more than I thought when it came to being a kid. Oh sure, I played baseball and football and any other outdoor sports you could think of, had a Nintendo the first Christmas it came out, bikes, fireworks, a pool, the whole nine yards. But I'm nearly 29 now, and I had my first pop tart last month.
Imagine me, a child growing up in the 80s, never enjoying a pop tart as they were meant to be enjoyed. It's a wonder that I wasn't suspected of being a Communist and shipped off to Moscow. A sample of the home raid would have gone something like this: "You're kidding me, right? He doesn't eat breakfast cereal either? He's definitely coming with us! He will be a perfect member of the Young Communists. We shall call him Mikhail. Grab your coat, boots, long johns, and several rolls of your fancy 2-ply toilet paper, comrade."
I guess that the Hypercolor t-shirt, denim jacket, and fake Air Jordans (they were decent facsimiles with the red, white and black color scheme, only without the Nike swoosh and the trademark Jordan with the ball and outstretched arms and legs; come to think of it, they were a very memorable pair of shoes) must have made me look semi-normal, even if I didn't eat what every other kid did.
Anyways, last month we were visiting Rachael and Aaron in Tennessee and she knows that Cindi and I both are extremely picky eaters, so she offered me two of Aaron's pop tarts (Frosted Chocolate Fudge) for breakfast. "Sure, I'll give em a shot," I said, not expecting too much. Aaron may have been disappointed that I was dipping into his pastry stash, but he didn't show it. To my surprise, they were pretty damn good, so I had several more the next day, and the next after that. I think Aaron was secretly glad we weren't staying for much longer than a weekend.
Just as I am writing this, Cindi came into the office and glanced at my post. She said, "Oh, wow, I was just thinking about having a few of your pop tarts." I think that I need a better hiding place for them, or perhaps a safe.
4 comments:
I believe I said "ONE" of your pop tarts! A few, my so called patootie! And yes...you could use a better hiding spot. The middle of the kitchen countertop does little to camouflage them. :D
Thanks for not blaming me and dad for not providing you with a proper diet, including Pop-Tarts, during your formative years. It's interesting and amazing to me that, considering the varied and healthy appetites that dad and I have, together we created one picky eater (but you're not that picky!) and one vegetarian! Science is weird! And just imagine if you would have told those Communists that you ate chicken soup for breakfast! We would have had no chance at all of reclaiming you, they would have been absolutely certain that you were born a Communist! Hahahaha! mOm =] P.S. I personally prefer the un-frosted brown sugar variety of Pop-Tarts...
i kind of picture mike becoming addicted to the princess pop tarts before long.
Mike, the reason you did not eat chocolate pop tarts was because Kristie, Andrea and Laurie consumed them all, and your store had empty shelves! hahahahaha
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