The Aftermath

I call this picture "The Aftermath." Mike worked all day on Sat., his normal day Monday, a double shift (16 hours) on Tuesday, his normal Thursday and then a double shift last night. Now the double shift isn't a normal double shift. After his normal eight hours, he headed downtown to inspect the vendor booths at the Taste of Chicago. So he's out in the heat walking around for eight hours straight and dealing with the mass of humanity that makes its way to the Taste every year. At the end of the night he was so cranky that I immediately bundled him off to bed. (He was getting pissy about two bacos on the counter again.)

Eleven hours later, he's still out - although he roused long enough to ask me what time it was and to baby talk one of the cats.

Poor Mike. I have to make him get up pretty soon because we're heading back down to the Taste today for another concert.

Yesterday while Mike worked, my friend Leigh and I headed down for the Black Crowes. Mike was crushed to have been working and not be able to come to the concert with us. He did get to hear some of it from where he was working but it just isn't the same.

Well, best to get moving if we're going to get out of here on time.

A Notice

It is approximately 1:30 A.M. and I have just finished answering all of the mail in my Inbox. Huzzah! I love it when I've whipped through them all and can feel that I've accomplished something.

Which brings me to my point. If you have emailed me and haven't heard back...let me know. I've officially answered everything that I have marked as "response required." If I haven't answered you and I owe you an email, it probably means that I mistakenly marked your email for archival.

Now I know what you're thinking..."But, Cindi...you're as close to perfection as is possible from a mere human being." Yes, I know...but heed these words of wisdom, dear reader. Even I...albeit rarely...do make an occasional mistake. Did I mention that it's 1:30 in the morning and I've been running around in the hot sun all day? I think I'm a little slap-happy.

What was my point? Oh, yeah. If I owe you an email and I didn't respond...just send me a note. I'll be sure and get back to you ASAP.

Strategery

So yesterday (Thursday) I decided that the front of the fridge needed cleaning off. There were all kinds of old magnets that were out of date. (Hockey season's over - and we have a White Sox schedule from 2005!...Whaaaaat?) Plus it was just cluttered. So I took down all of the ricketa-racketa. The things I wanted to save I put into a baggie and put into the storage bin with that sort of thing. Then I got out the bleach cleaner, squirted it down and wiped it off.

Then, knowing I had an appointment to go to in an hour, I hopped into the bath tub for a soak. I heard Mike get home, greet the kitties and head into the kitchen to get a drink. Then there was a pause. Then he stuck his head in (smirking, of course) and said something like, "What's wrong with you? I smell bleach and the kitchen looks really good."

First of all, I thought, the smart ass doesn't have to act like it's a major event every time I clean something. Then it hit me. He smells the bleach and thinks I cleaned the whole kitchen. I mean it's basically clean most of the time anyway. He's just inherited the Sandy "out-out damn spot" syndrome which sadly renders its victim incapable of realizing something is actually clean. It's tragic really - I'm thinking of starting a telethon to raise money for a cure. Basically, I've decided, all I have to do is wait until about a half hour before he gets home from work and mix a bleach/water mixture in the sink. He'll smell it and assume I've cleaned. Awesome.

I wonder if that'd work for the bathroom?

A Plea for Relief

The people in charge need to finish fixing our bedroom floor. It's been ten days since we've been able to sleep down there. The landlord, instead of hiring a couple of burly gentlemen to come over and knock the floor out in one day, has given the task to the "manager" to do. Dave works full time - so the first few days he couldn't make it over. Then on Tuesday, he got off of work early for the holiday and he came over and worked several hours. Then he spent his whole fourth of July working on it also. But he's not done. The room's pretty big. The middle's pretty well done. He needs to do around the stairs and the closet and along the walls. But then he didn't show up yesterday. He had to go back to work and I don't know if he didn't feel like finishing it up last night or what...but I'm getting pissed now. I feel like we've been really patient - which is not my strong point anyways.

I haven't had a real night's sleep in forever. Mike's got the couch and I have the guest bed. Now I don't mind the guest bed but the air conditioning has a hard time getting to the spare room and I can't sleep when I'm hot. Last night was awful. I finally felt like I could sleep about 4 am and woke up at 7 am so hot that I stumbled out into the living room to cool off. (I only remember this vaguely, btw - I was so tired.) I remember seeing Mike's alarm clock and thinking it was almost time for him to get up. I nudged him awake and asked him what time he had to get up. "7:20," he said. I think I said something like, "Ok, I'll wait." And then I lay down on the floor next to the couch and went back to sleep. Mike woke me back up and said he'd get up now and that I should lay down on the couch. I did a face plant into the couch. Mike must have taken his shower and gotten dressed because the next time I saw him, he was ready for work. At my request, he wakes me up every day before he goes to work. But even though I have asked him to wake me up and let me know he's leaving, this morning I distinctly remember thinking, "Leave me alone." He asked me if I was feeling better now that I'd cooled off. Then he kept talking to me - I have no idea what he said. I honestly don't remember a word of it. I must have said something funny because I remember him laughing - but have no clue what it was...or even what he asked me or said to me.

I'm tempted to call the landlord and tell him that until he gets the floor fixed, Mike and I are checking into a hotel and sending him the bill. I think ten days is long enough to have a sore back and a stiff neck.

Open Letter

An Open Letter to the Blonde Chick sitting behind us at the ballgame:

You were without a doubt one of the most obnoxious people that I have ever had the misfortune to meet. I know that I am not the most patient person on the planet - I get that from my mother. And I am getting a little older - it's true that I am a little more crotchety than I used to be. But there are a few things that I feel need to be addressed.

First of all, you may notice that we can't see your face in this picture. That's because A) Mike and I moved after sitting in front of you for only half an inning and B) you never SHUT YOUR MOUTH...you were in that position for the entire game! I know it's a ball game - we're all there to have fun. It's nice that you could get your friend to go with you but is it necessary for you to go to a baseball game in order to talk about the bridal shower you are throwing for a different friend? Don't you have a phone? Call her when you get home, ok - some of us are trying to watch the frigging game.

Also, why are you making your friend have a bridal shower? If I had to hear one more thing that you were trying to force her to do, I was going to sweep kick your legs out from under you. It's HER bridal shower. So she doesn't want to wear a veil out in public. So she doesn't want to wear a tiara or a sash at the bar. So she doesn't want to wear penis-shaped earrings. And, by the way - it's a family event...maybe you didn't have to shout "penis." Just a suggestion. Not wanting to wear these things does not make her a "bitch"...maybe she's shy. Maybe it's just not her thing. And if you think she's a "bitch" - then why are you planning a shower for her? JUST SAY NO. And by the way - your friend's offer to take the penis-shaped earrings "if she isn't going to take them" really creeped me out. What is WRONG with you people?

Also - please do not use the words "I am in charge of flair for the party" ever again. The first time you said it, I rolled my eyes...but, had I liked you even an infinitesimal amount, I might have laughed. I, too, have seen the movie Office Space - I enjoy a good movie quote joke. But the fact that you kept feeling the need to repeat the line over and over in an attempt to recreate the moment when your friend laughed...it's just sad.

In closing, I spent the entire time I sat in front of you wishing I could elbow drop you. Luckily for you, Mike kept me from getting rude. Take my advice, though - be considerate. Next time you act ignorant you might not be so lucky.

Happy Fourth of July, everybody!

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in-fact be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon darlings, but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you three will take care of each other with kindness, and bravery, and selflessness as you always have. And remember one thing my darlings and never forget it - that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family, and you are home. " - quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events

Clutter, clutter, go away...

Mike will be mad at me when he finds out that I took a picture of this and put it up on the blog. Buuuut, as you can see, I'm cleaning out my books. This is the stack of books that I still have sitting on my living room floor. After Mike took out four trash bags full of books and threw them away. Four. I guess there is something to be said for getting rid of some of the clutter. Despite the fact that I told him to do whatever he wanted to with the books, I felt a little sick to my stomach when I realize he'd just thrown them away. So my friend Allyson is coming by to go through what's left to see if she can give some of them a good home.

Here is the end result. These are all the books I own now. Normally I would have three empty bookcases but thanks to the flood, I only have the one that my dad made. It was made of sturdy enough wood to survive sitting in the water.

Then landlord has decided not to put down carpet downstairs. Instead, the "manager" is putting down vinyl tile. This is what our bedroom currently looks like. Dave is supposed to be finishing it up tomorrow so we can put our furniture back in the room. I can't wait until I can sleep in my bed again. Mike and I both are a little tired of sleeping upstairs.

You tell me

Shamelessly stolen from Kelly...

You can:

Describe my best qualities in six words here - johari.

Stolen from the pug luver

SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks! Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name: Lucinda
Famous Artist/Band/Music: Lemonheads, The
4 letter word: lake
Vehicle: Lexus
State: Louisiana
Boy Name: Luca (I live on the second floor)
Girl Name: Layla (you got me on my knees)
Alcoholic drink: Long Island Iced Tea
Occupation: Lawyer
Something you wear: Leggings
Celebrity: Leonardo DiCaprio
Food Place: L Woods Tap and Pine Lodge
Something found in a kitchen: Ladle
Reason for Being Late: Locked my keys in the car
Cartoon Character: Little Lulu
Something You Shout: “Look out!”
Body Part: Lobes (ear)
Things found in the Ocean: Lifeboats

Reflection

This is a cute picture of Mike from our anniversary picnic. He's taking a picture of himself in the big bean there at Millenium Park. Adorable.

New Puppy Pictures!

New pictures of my dad's puppies are up at Aunt Linda's blog. Sooooo cute. Be sure to check them out.

Anniversary Pictures - 04/22/07

My eyes are closed here because the wind just blew some of the COLD fountain water onto my back. Mike caught me in the split second before I said, "Oh, crap!" and ran. It was April and the water was fuh-ree-zee-ing.

This is me splashing around with the other kids. Mike found it incredibly amusing that I wanted to take my shoes off and get my tootsies wet. What can I say - it was a really nice, warm day outside...even if it was frigid water we were splashing in.

Mike, seen here about to open his roast beef picnic sandwich. Those girls you can almost see next to us were SO annoying. I must be getting old because they were college age girls and every time they said things like, "Oh, like, me too." or "Oh my Gawd, tohtuhlee" (which they did constantly) - I wanted to throw something at them.

I love this picture because every time I look at it, I think, "I live in Chicago." Which I am constantly amazed and thrilled about. I adore Chicago. I know that Chicago is not the center of the universe even though most of us who live here do seem to feel like it is. I have become such a Chicago snob. Suggest to me a trip to the suburbs and I will generally make a face while I think to myself, "The suburbs? What for?" I have no idea why this is. I don't feel that way about Detroit. I PREFER the suburbs of Detroit.

But, one of the things I love the most about living in Chicago is that I can hop on a bus and in 15-30 minutes, I'm there. In this beautiful park across from the tallest sky-scrapers, a short walk from the beach and, as far as I'm concerned, at the center of the universe.

Random Baby Sightings

So Mikey and I finished up the monumental task of laundering nearly our entire wardrobes after the flood in our laundry room and bedroom. I would like to clarify that we did not have all of our clothes on the floor. The water seeping into our hope chest, knocked over our hampers and soaked into the clothes we had sitting in laundry baskets. Not all of our clothes had gotten wet but even the dry ones smelled funky from being in such close proximity to the muddy, gross ones. I thought about it after I re-read what I had written and was afraid it sounded like all of our clothes were on the floor. Not the case.

Anyway, we loaded up our last few loads of laundry to head to Bubbleland and decided to grab a bite to eat before we went over. We decided to go to a little bar and grill near our old place called Streetside. We called Matthew to see if he wanted to go with but there was no answer. I called Sarah then because she lives nearby and because we had one of Lyric's little red crocs in the back seat of our car. Again no answer. "Oh, well," I thought, "I'll call them later and see if they want to come over for dinner another night." It was amazingly easy to find a parking spot outside of the bar. We were literally a few feet from the entrance. Very nice. Then we stepped inside and who should we see?! Lyric and Sarah! They were sitting with our friend Paul, having a cocktail (A mimosa for Sarah...7-up and water for Lyric) while they waited for their laundry to be done next door. Lyric lit up when she saw us and snuggled up against me with her head on my chest while she flirted with Mike over my shoulder. I love that kid.

Paul headed home shortly after we arrived and Sarah and Lyric came to sit with us for a bit while they finished their drinks. Mike and I ordered food and we all chatted until the food arrived. Lyric tested out my french fries to make sure they were edible. We oooh and aaahed over the fact that she peed in her big girl potty twice today. Starting next week she'll be in training pants. I was a little sad that she is getting so big, even though I'm not a huge fan of changing diapers. It was decided that they'd be coming over for dinner tomorrow night, regardless of the fact that our clothes are all in the living room, stacked in laundry baskets and storage containers. Then as they were leaving, Lyric signed "I love you" to me in her baby sign language...which made me want to scoop her up and take her home even more than I always do.

Tomorrow I have promised to move the storage containers and laundry baskets into the spare bedroom so Mike isn't as "embarrassed" about the state of our house right now. We can't put them away yet because we still have the moving of all of our bedroom furniture to look forward to in the next couple of days. New carpet has to be put down and we'll have to dismantle all of our things and put them back together. No sense putting the clothes away until that's done. I don't suppose anyone feels like a trip to Chicago this weekend? We could use the help. No? Ah, well. It was worth a shot. :D

Well, I'm calling it a night for now. Lots to do tomorrow.

Puppy love

As you've hopefully noticed by now, the pictures of my new puppy nieces and nephews are up on my aunt's blog. I was very excited to see them and when Mike got him I (practically jumping up and down) asked him if he wanted to see the pictures. He said, "Ok." I pulled up the pictures. Did he remark on how adorable they were? Did he express amazement over the little piebald girl's unusual coloring? Did he ask me which one was coming to our house? (I'll convince him yet!) Alas, no...he did none of these things. Mike's initial reaction?

"Hey! Who's that wearing a Red Wings shirt?"

Real nice, Mike.

Sifting Through the Wreckage

Well, on a brighter note, I managed to salvage the pictures from the memory card of the digital camera that was ruined during our flood. I found that there were pictures from a visit Mike, Kristie and I made to the Art Museum on my birthday and some pictures Mike and I took at our first anniversary picnic in April. There were several pictures of different paintings that I thought were interesting. Suddenly, in the middle of them - I saw a person. I decided to take a closer look and found this picture which rapidly became my favorite from that day.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Today it rained in Chicago. Think Noah and the Ark...that's the sort of weather we had in Chicago today. I was talking to my dad on the phone when I suddenly thought I heard the sound of dripping water. I look around and realize that the ceiling is leaking...onto my computer. I said, "Oh, (expletive deleted)...I have to call you back." I ran over, disconnected all the cables to the computer and moved it out of the room. Then I pulled out some trash bags and covered everything that was in the drip range.

Once, done, I went out to the couch and tried to call my dad back. I didn't get an answer and so I relaxed and watched Judge Judy for a minute. A few minutes later, I noticed that Furio was acting funny on the stairs. I wondered what he was staring at and wandered over there. Meme shot up from the stairs and bolted across the room. I started down the stairs and thought to myself, "What's wrong with the carpet?" It looked really dark. I flipped on the light to discover that our clothes and possessions were floating. The bedroom was flooded with about 4-6 inches of dirty water. I flipped out. I called Mike, Dave the manager, Bob the landlord and then our insurance company. Dave and Bob both said that there wasn't anything we could do until the water went down and to stay out of the water and off of the metal stairs in case the water reached an electrical outlet. The insurance company told us that we were on our own as renter's insurance doesn't cover any sort of flood damage. My question was this..."What exactly am I paying you all this money every month for?"

Bob stopped by and tried to help us clean up the mess. He's paying for us to take as many clothes as we can to the laundromat to try and save them. The problem is, a lot of them have been ruined/stained by the dirty water and anything that doesn't get taken in today will be gross and moldy by tomorrow. So we've had to try and sort through our possessions to try and figure out which of our things are more necessary than the others. Matt's old shirts had to be tossed as did some of my mom's old clothes that I use as house clothes. I cried after I threw them away because I wasn't ready to let them go but I knew I didn't have much choice. It's more important to save the clothes we'll need for day-to-day wear and work clothes. I've lost some of my dress shoes which were stored under the bed and one of our bookshelves will have to be scrapped. We're still assessing the damage, if any to our bed, dresser, hope chest and the bookcase that my Dad built me in college. Some of my books are goners too. And we've lost a digital camera which was in a duffle bag from a previous trip. Thankfully it's not our brand new one, though. Mike's loaded up as much as possible and headed off to do laundry. I was going to try and wash a few more clothes here at home but the laundry room was flooded also and right now the washer won't start.

Bob's going to replace our carpet downstairs...which means that we'll have to move out all of our furniture in order for them to pull out the gross, soggy stuff and put the good new stuff down. Times like these are when I wish that we lived close to family. It's going to be such a pain for Mike and I to be schlepping that furniture around.

*Sigh* I need a hug.

For Bob and Andrea...

A picture of Mike enjoying that piece of Alex's birthday cake you sent home with us...

News!

I have new nieces and nephews! Four of them! My furry "little sister," Scarlett had four puppies just after midnight. I don't know whether they're girls or boys yet but I'm very excited to find out. Pictures should be up soon on Aunt Linda's blog as she went over to see the new mom and her babies today.

Mike as Rod Stewart

Interlude

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
--W.H. Auden

***************************************************
We Are Seven

A simple child, dear brother Jim,
That lightly draws its breath,
And feels its life in every limb,
What should it know of death?
I met a little cottage girl,
She was eight years old, she said;
Her hair was thick with many a curl
That cluster'd round her head.
She had a rustic, woodland air,
And she was wildly clad;
Her eyes were fair, and very fair,
--Her beauty made me glad.
"Sisters and brothers, little maid,
"How many may you be?"
"How many? seven in all," she said,
And wondering looked at me.
"And where are they, I pray you tell?
"She answered, "Seven are we,
"And two of us at Conway dwell,
"And two are gone to sea.
"Two of us in the church-yard lie,
"My sister and my brother,
"And in the church-yard cottage, I
"Dwell near them with my mother."
"You say that two at Conway dwell,
"And two are gone to sea,
"Yet you are seven; I pray you tell
"Sweet Maid, how this may be?"
Then did the little Maid reply,
"Seven boys and girls are we;
"Two of us in the church-yard lie,
"Beneath the church-yard tree."
"You run about, my little maid,
"Your limbs they are alive;"
If two are in the church-yard laid,
"Then ye are only five."
"Their graves are green, they may be seen,"
The little Maid replied,
"Twelve steps or more from my mother's door,
"And they are side by side.
"My stockings there I often knit,
"My 'kerchief there I hem;
"And there upon the ground I sit--
"I sit and sing to them.
"And often after sunset, Sir,
"When it is light and fair,
"I take my little porringer,
"And eat my supper there.
"The first that died was little Jane;
"In bed she moaning lay,
"Till God released her of her pain,
"And then she went away.
"So in the church-yard she was laid,
"And all the summer dry,
"Together round her grave we played,
"My brother John and I.
"And when the ground was white with snow,
"And I could run and slide,
"My brother John was forced to go,
"And he lies by her side."
"How many are you then," said I,
"If they two are in Heaven?"
The little Maiden did reply,
"O Master! we are seven."
"But they are dead; those two are dead!
"Their spirits are in heaven!"
'Twas throwing words away; for still
The little Maid would have her will,
And said, "Nay, we are seven!"
--William Wordsworth

Today (+1 year)

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death. His name was Matthew. He was my baby brother. He died when he was 22, although he'd be 26 today. He was my best friend. I thought he was invincible. I was wrong. Here are just a few things that I learned in the first three years and a few more that I've learned since then.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I can tell you that people who say, "time heals all wounds" are full of bull. Time may cover the wound with a scab but wounds like these never heal. The best you can hope for is that it's clean and doesn't hurt every day.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I have noticed that the stories you tell about a person after they're gone never cease to be funny. For instance, once when we were little, my family was driving into town when we noticed that one of our distant neighbors were moving in a manufactured home. They had set the house up on cement blocks and my mom said to my dad, "I wonder what they've got that house up on blocks for." My (quite young) little brother piped up from the back seat, "Well, they gotta raise the house to meet the steps."

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and saying good-bye is hard. When I came home from graduate school to visit my brother in the hospital, I sat with him for awhile on the last day of the weekend. Mike went out to get the car and my parents were coming in later - so we were alone, Matt and I. I waited until the nurses had given him a sedative to help him rest because I didn't want him to see me leave. He always cried when my mom would leave for the night and I didn't think I could stand it if he cried. Once he was asleep, I went over and touched him. I said, "Good-bye, Matty. I love you." and walked out of the room. Then I'd get halfway down the hall and turn around and come back. I'd touch him again and say, "Goodbye, Matty. I love you." I did this about (no lie) eight times. I'd get halfway down the hall and think, "What if this is the last time I see him?" It was.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I am here to tell you that flatulence CAN be funny....especially when you start tooting to annoy your sister and you inadvertently "exceed the maximum capacity" of your underpants.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I know that between us we had several genius ideas before they were famous. For instance, my brother was "Goldweiner" long before Austin Powers faced down Goldmember. Granted, Matt's nickname was due to his penchant for dachshunds rather than an unfortunate smelting accident. The best was when he'd lay Chloe across his arm, stroke her back in villainesque manner, and say, "No, Mr. Bond...I expect you...to....die." Matt was also the original "Captain Underpants." A few days of lazing around in his tighty whities inspired the family to give him the moniker, "Underpants Man." Rather than being offended and always one to go in with a good joke, he soon gave Underpants Man more nemesis....es (what is the plural of that? Nemesi?)...than he knew what to do with. Including the ever popular, "Tuxedo Man" and "Fully Dressed Boy."

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I've learned that moms really mean it when they tell you they'd take your place rather than see you suffer.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and it's glaringly obvious that people who've never lost someone close to them can never understand...no matter how hard they may want to.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and to this day whenever I see feuding siblings on Judge Judy, I cry - because they've got what I want and they don't even appreciate it!

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I've found that memories are a poor substitute for a deceased loved one. When Matt died, so many people told me, "Well, at least you have some great memories." Yeah, I do. I have tons of happy memories...but what I really want is my brother back. I hated when people said that and so I make a point never to say it to others.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and my upstairs neighbor is convinced that he still visits me. She thinks so because I semi-regularly have an odd dream. Or hallucination. Or, if you believe in that sort of thing, ghostly visits. I wake up, only I'm not really awake-awake. I'm floating in the ether between sleep and awake...and I see him sitting on the edge of my bed. I mumble something along the lines of, "What are you doing in my room, spaz?" Then something clicks in my brain and I realize that Matt can not possibly be in my room and I bolt wide awake to see an empty spot on the bed. While I am pretty sure that his appearance has more to do with a wistful mind than other-worldly influence, it's nice to think that maybe he stops by sometimes.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and even though I'm not convinced that he visits me, I did get an email from "beyond his grave." (Cue the spooky music.) Once, about six months after his death, a yahoo glitch somehow either resent a message or marked it as "unread" so it popped up in my inbox. I'll give you a sample of the very beginning and the very end...which will show you both why I loved and miss him so much and why the email itself was sort of spooky. By the way, the language is slightly salty...so prepare yourself. :) Originally, I censored it to be PG-13 but then I thought about it and Matt would have been offended...so here he is in all his slightly vulgar glory.

(BEGINNING)Hey Skip Spence... whats up my moby grapian friend? If you knew ANYTHING about acid bands of the 60s you would be laughin' your ass off at that, trust me. I am one witty mutha, or brutha if you will. Sorry about missin' ya while you're on, I was asleep in the chair about 10:30. Remember when mom told ya I was having those bad tummy pains, well, I slept A LOT, while that shit was goin' on, and it whacked out my schedule a bit, and I'm still sleeping more than normal, but my hours are more normal....like 8am to 10pm normal, which is fuckin' trippy. But alas, that t'is thee thy reason for not being around. You'se digs my complications, eh?......

(END)Ok, this is the last paragraph homes, be good, and I'll try to be around tomorrow evening.....maybe about 9:30. If you ain't here, no problems, I'll catch ya another time, and I'll work on my hours so we catch each other more ok? Be good......Your Brutha, Lil Chu

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and you will never convince me that dogs don't have feelings. Matt's little dachshund, Chloe, still looks for him to show up every day. When he got sick and went to the hospital and for some time after he died, I would sometimes see her lying in his spot on the couch, waiting for him to come and sit with her or whining outside of his bedroom door - unable to understand why he didn't open up and let her in.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I have realized that losing a loved one is hard...but losing two is unbearable.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and his "legacy" lives on. I have only to utter the words "biggest ass hole in Henry County" to make Mike laugh. My mom used to go through phases where she was constantly mad at my dad. No matter what he did, it wasn't what she wanted him to do. My dad always knew they'd pass and so he didn't sweat about them...which only served to piss her off further, naturally. One of these instances occurred just before Veteran's Day. The local paper was publishing pictures of "your" veterans in the Veteran's Day issue at no charge. You could put whatever caption you wanted with the picture. We had decided we'd put in a picture of my dad and of his brother, my Uncle Tony. My dad was watching tv in the living room, while my brother was playing around on his computer (also in the living room). My mom and I were sitting at the table in the adjoining kitchen. I said, "Mom, what are we going to have them put under Dad's picture?" She snapped back, "How about "Biggest ass hole in Henry County?" In an attempt to defuse the situation, I laughed and yelled out into the living room, "Hey, Dad...did you hear what Mom just said? She's going to write 'biggest ass hole in Henry County under your picture." Then I turned back to my mom and said, "Gee...then what will we write under Uncle Tony's picture?" Without missing a beat, Matt piped up from the living room, "Brother of the biggest ass hole in Henry County."

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and although laughing with him is the thing I miss the most, I see his sense of humor all around. In myself, in my Uncle Mike - who shares it, in my Mike - who took to it right away and adopted some of it as his own, in Jeff - who I know misses it as much as I do, in my Dad - who shares with us the uncanny ability to look at a situation and think, "Matt would have loved that.", in the stories that we all tell about him, in the memories he cultivated in all of us who loved him and in the memories we have of my mom - who ached for him every second she outlived him and who passed on her sense of humor to all of her kids.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I have found out that sometimes the pain is worth it. "Mother of the best kids on Earth or in Heaven said: Who can forget the movie quotes..."stuck in the big pool for life" or "rectum?, almost killed um" or watching Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" and he laughed every time because Chong had to follow his dog around for 3 days after the dog ate his stash of weed. I never watch "Cops" any more because it just isn't the same without his caustic remarks about the arrestees. After 3 years I still wait to hear "how was your day, Mom",when I walk in the door.----said more out of self preservation depending on how my day was, he knew how the wind was blowing. We both know we could rattle on for days and never run out of endless stories about him. I still keep his guitars and amps carefully preserved and cared for because I can't part with them. I always cry if "Amazing Grace" is played. But I also can imagine Heaven's response when he arrived with his humor, music, and love, although I'm sure things have never been the same. You have to feel sorry for people who never had a chance to meet him. The pain is worth having had Matt with us, because no way would I have missed the dance." --my mom's comment on last year's "Today" post.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and I wouldn't trade the twenty-two years I had with him for any price. Some people are not meant to grow old but rather appear in our lives briefly and linger in our hearts forever.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death and the best piece of advice I (still) have to offer you is to hug those you love every day and tell them that you love them. Never let a day go by without sharing your feelings.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death.

For Matt (12/16/80 - 06/24/03)

A Mom Story

What my mom said about this picture: "Take my picture and

we'll ask the kids which one is the bear."

Definitely a new trend

The new trend.

Happy Birthday

Today is Okima's birthday and although I know she's not feeling the birthday spirit today, I'm sending many happy birthday wishes her way.

Update

Okima's dad died this morning. That makes both parents within two weeks.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Still trying...

A snippet from a recent dinner conversation between Mike and myself...

Me: What's that guy's name again?
Mike: Which guy?
Me: That pitcher whose name is on my shirt...Justin something...sounds like Charmander.


(It's Verlander, by the way.)

Big Haircut

I got a haircut today. I've been wanting to do something with my hair for ages and I decided that today was the day. I broke out the digital camera to record the before and after shots.

BEFORE - My hair is still wet and messy here but Mike was hassling me to get around and get ready so I didn't dare take the time to blow dry my hair. I pulled the towel off my head and had him snap a before shot for me. Apparently the before-and-after picture idea really scared Mike, as he forlornly asked me in the car how much hair I was getting cut off. I promised it would be a minimum. AFTER - And here I am two hours later. I've been highlighted, layered, blowdried and snipped. I'm quite happy with it but my mom would have hated it. Apparently asymmetrical bangs are all the rage this season and I told Marisol, the cute little Puerto Rican lady who cut my hair, that I didn't care too much about what the bangs looked like...so long as I had bangs. I like them, I guess...they do take a little getting used to but my mom would never have been able to get over the bangs. "Your bangs aren't straight. Why would you leave the shop without making sure your bangs were straight?" In fact, she's probably looking down at me right now, telling all and sundry that my bangs aren't straight.

AND THIS - this is just me messing around with the digital camera taking pictures of myself while Mike was changing for dinner. I thought my eyes looked really nice in this one.

But my bangs aren't straight.

The first non-Polack champion!

Charles Harris, current dicey champion, pictured here wearing the coveted "Dicey Crown."

An early father's day

Furio and Meadow gave Mike his father's day gift a couple of days early. Many thanks to the Potters for "helping" Furio and Meme paint this totem pole at the pottery place.

The joy of having family

It's nice to know that you have someone you can always count on. I have a lot of people that I know I can count on but I thought I'd give a little credit where credit is due and where it doesn't always get recognized.

On January 18th, I started a special "group" on gratefulness.org in order that anyone who wants to can light a candle in memory of my mom. The candles burn for 48 hours and I decided that I'd try and light one every day so that I could keep my mom's "group" active. The problem? I'm terrible at remembering to visit every day. I do a fair job of visiting to relight a candle before my old one goes out but I don't always make it every 48 hours. I don't worry about it, though. Jeff always makes it every day and has never let me down yet. Even this week, which was crazy. It's been probably a week since I lit a candle but when I clicked onto the site, Jeff had been there. It's nice to know that I can count on him to keep up with it when I forget. Thanks, Jeff. :D

In other news, my dad's going to be a Grandpa again. No, it's not me. Put down your credit card, Sandy - and you can close that Baby's R Us window. One of my mom's weiner dogs, Scarlett (the red one on the far right), is pregnant! Dad had this to say when he e-mailed me, "Wouldn't your Mom have been THRILLED? I'd have had a hard time getting her to part with any of them when they were old enough." That's too true. So in two or three months, he'll have puppies to give away. I don't think he'll be able to sell them because my mom died before she got Otis (the father weiner) registered - or at least, he won't be able to sell them for full price. They are 100% weiner dog, though. I'm hoping Uncle Mike and Aunt Linda will help him out with locating new puppy owners. You don't want to give them to just anybody. I'd love to have one but I still can't have a dog yet. Maybe Dad will keep one for me until I get a place that lets us have a dog...of course that was the deal we struck when I brought home Delilah. He's still got Delilah. Too bad Mom's not around...I could have talked her into that no problem. :D Let's see...if they're born the end of June/early July, they won't be ready to go until September-ish anyway. Our lease is up in October...we could probably swing that. Hrm...something to think about. Mike will be the hard sell. Well, and the cats. Furio will probably demand a "sit down."

I hope he doesn't make me an offer I can't refuse.

Revenge

Revenge is a dish best served cold. -Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos

Revenge is a dish best served with cold cuts. - Tony Soprano

Anyone?

Anybody have a reaction to the "last episode of the Sopranos. Ever."? I'll avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn't had a chance to see it yet - but I will say that Mike's reaction was "Pft. So glad I watched this."

I was pretty miffed about it at first too but as I have pondered it for an hour or so here, it's growing on me. I have my own theory about the ending...and if I'm right then the ending was quite clever.

But I'm curious what other people thought.

Crazy Cat Lady?

So today I put an old memory card into our new camera and found we had several pictures that we'd forgotten about. Excited, I plugged in the camera to the computer and transferred the pictures to see what we've got. It turns out that out of about 55 pictures, 85% or so were of our cats. Yeah. I'm a little concerned about what this says about us.

But then I looked at the pictures and they're just such dang cute cats. How can you not take pictures of them? You can find a sampling below of the pictures that I feel are the cutest.

Go ahead...make my day.

I found this email in my inbox this morning and, while I empathize with his plight, I have to admit that I got quite a kick out of it. It actually sort of made my day.

Fri, Jun 8, 2007 at 6:03 PM
From: Charles Harris
To: Lucinda Kurczewski
Subject: This $1000 Nintendo

This worthless son of a bitch WILL NOT send a picture attached to an Email.

Virtual fireworks

For the upcoming fourth of July.

The Grammar Police

I dread the first day of a new class where the teacher makes us go around and say our names and tell the class a little bit about ourselves. As a teacher, I realize the purpose of this exercise. I just hate it when I'm on the student side. Mostly because when the teacher finds out that I teach English at a university, they get this sort of panicky look on their face which I know means that they're going back over (in their mind) the presentation they've prepared for the class to try and remember if they've grammar checked it. I find myself longing to say, "Don't worry, I'm not the grammar police." Up to now, I've haven't even been tempted to correct anyone's grammar.

But that was before I had class on Monday. The teacher is a little pompous to begin with - she insists that we all address her as "Professor" - which is her right, don't get me wrong. But who does that? Every other teacher I've had at Loyola, lawyer or not, has us call them by their first name. But as I said, whatever - I could live with that.

Then she pulled up a PowerPoint presentation riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. When she saw them (I gritted my teeth and didn't say a word), she said, "Oh, these slides came prepared. They're from the book." Uh...I doubt it. And if that's true, I want my money back on this book. For real. Because it would make the editors morons.

I don't know how long I'm going to last before I snap and scream, "It's YOU'RE not YOUR. It's a contraction of YOU ARE, you idiot!"

This could be bad.

If this were a real post...

This is a test post to see how long it take Kristie to visit.

Hi, Kristie!

You lazy blog-reader.

Watch out, Laurie...you're next!

Galleria

Look! I'm knitting. This is the beginning of a prayer shawl for Okima. Before you start to knit, you say a prayer for the well being of the recipient and then, as you knit, you think about them - continuing to pray and/or send well wishes. The idea is that your prayers and wishes for the recipient are knitted into the shawl and will surround them as they wear it. I tabled the blue fuzzy one I was knitting for Sara's future baby for now. It won't take me very long to do that one, especially since I've got it started.

So Mike and I ordered a new digital camera from Dell. We actually already have one but because it belonged to my mom, we lack the software to connect it to the computer as well as the cord to do so. They may be located somewhere in my mom's house but if they are, she took their location to the grave with her. Or the box, I guess...since she was cremated. I had tried to contact the company and see if it was possible to get these things and was told that it was an obsolete model for which they don't have things anymore. Whatever. We've been having to take pictures, take the memory card and print out all the pictures, scan them, edit them and then publish them on the blog or email them. The method works but it's slow, annoying and fairly expensive. Printing out all your pictures really adds up! Anyway, Dell was having a sale (when aren't they, right?) on digital cameras and I talked Mike into updating our technology for bargain prices. Today I was playing with it and taking pictures of various ricketa-racketa around our apartment. I call this one "No escape."

Yeah, that's right - our marriage license is on the fridge right now. You know, we had it in a frame and all but when Mike switched jobs, we had to have it so often that he wouldn't put it back in the frame when he got back home because he'd have to take it out to show it to somebody else. I made him put it somewhere where it wouldn't get wrinkled or ripped and the fridge became home base. Now we're just too lazy to put it back in the frame. The frame is sitting on top of the fridge as we speak. But I can't be bothered.

Bubbles, babies and brunch

This was an interesting weekend and, indeed, too chock full to discuss in only one post. It was a blur of margaritas, manual labor and baby chasing for the most part.

Today Mike and I got up early (oh man did we get up early) to go and support our friend Sarah when she performed at the Wicker Park Children's festival today. She is a music and art teacher at Bubbles Academy here in Chicago and does children's parties on the side. Sarah asked me Friday-ish if I'd mind keeping an eye on her daughter, Lyric while she worked at the Bubbles Academy booth and performed at the pavillion. I did not hesitate to agree to spend time with, arguably, the cutest baby on the face of the planet. She's 21 months now and is really getting the hang of this talking thing. Sooooo, Mike and I - along with our friend, Eric - spent the day chasing and being chased by Lyric around the park. We also painted, colored, danced, played with blocks and blew more bubbles than should ever be allowed by law.

Afterward, Mike went to be an umpire for the kickball league (his team didn't have to play today) and I went to brunch with Sarah, Lyric, Julie and Taylor. We finished eating and chatting in just enough time for me to swing back and pick Mike up after the game.

Sarah, newly separated from her husband and on her own with the baby, is going to take a night to go out and relax with Julie and so it looks like Lyric may be spending the night at our house one night in a week or two. I'm very excited but the cats...not so much. She's very good with animals but, not being around kids much, our cats are a bit unnerved when she waddles after them saying, "Meow! Meow! Meow!"

I did get some really bad news this weekend. My friend Okima's dad has been really, really sick. His cancer had returned and he's had a couple of strokes. He doesn't recognize her anymore and the strokes have made him violent, so he's not able to stay at home. Instead, he's had to be hospitalized and sedated. Okima's dad is in his late 80's and her mother in her early 90's. (Okima's young - she was adopted by her parents when they were in their late 40's/early 50's.) Anyways, her father isn't expected to live through the summer. Okima's been flying back and forth to New York once a month to check in and help her mom. She's been making arrangements to move to New York to take care of her mom when her father died. This weekend, Okima's mom died. The stress of everything was just too much - her heart gave out. Every time I think about it, I tear up. It was so hard when my mom died but I still have my dad and he's healthy. How awful would it be to lose your mom and know your dad's going to die very soon?

Please pray for Okima. I haven't been able to talk to her yet (she left right away for New York) but I know she needs it.

Margaritaville

The last couple of days I've been working. No...really...for money. My friend had to take care of some personal business and she called and asked if I'd be willing to sit in and proctor an exam for each of her three classes. She's my friend and I said, "No problem." Then she said that the school would pay me $75 per test. Bonus!

One day at a time

William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903
7. Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance 5
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 10
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate: 15
I am the captain of my soul.

Echoes

I was minding my own business, checking my email and fooling around online when all of a sudden, I missed Matt so much that it took my breath away.

I was as though I'd been transported back in time to the moment when Mom called me and said, "We've lost Matt." The same searing agony and gutwrenching nausea. The same shocked paralysis. The same desperate sense that there had been some kind of mistake.

It's happened before and it will probably happen again. But this time, there's something different. My mom's not here for me to call and make it all better. Gradually, the feeling subsided but it left behind a stray thought in my head which continues to echo within my brain as surely as if I'd climbed a mountain and shouted it.

"I want my mommy."

HA!

Check it? Did you say "check it"? Too funny. I snorted a little bit when I read it.

Wild about Man Vs. Wild

First of all this is not Cindi blogging, this is Mike. Anyways, I watched 2 episodes of Man Vs. Wild last night and was totally hooked. I also learned a lot of "practical survival knowledge" for someone living in a major U.S. city.

Check it - did you know that elephant dung has two practical purposes? The first is that you can squeeze it and draw water out of it to drink if you are phenomenally parched and the convenience store is out of Evian. Also if it's dried, you can light it to start a fire.

The next time that I'm charged by a huge, mean Black Rhino I know to stand totally still while it charges and dive out of the way at the very last second. He didn't say what the next step was but I think it would be to change your underbritches.

If Little Caesar's ever runs out of $5 'zas, I know that I can eat maggots as a source of calories and protein. Bear says to bite the heads off and then eat them, cuz the heads are the "nasty part." Never mind the part that holds the rotting flesh it just ate.

Gotta go, I got 4 more episodes to watch!

Hear Me Roar!

Ok. First of all, I was a little overly ambitious in my estimates last night. I said I was going to take a long walk to day and go to the gym. I have just returned from my long walk and I think it's safe to say that the gym is going to have to wait. I walked to the pharmacy and back. It felt like 40 miles but I figure it's about a mile and a half or so. My body is screaming from what it perceives as mistreatment. It's so hot that I thought I was going to throw up right after I got home. Although as the saying goes, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." I feel good, though, like I've accomplished something.

I didn't sleep well last night and woke up when Mike left for work after sleeping about four or five hours. Unable to get back to sleep, I read a book and tried to stay cool. I knew it was hot and sloppy outside and I had nearly convinced myself to forget about taking a walk today. Instead, I sucked it up about 12 this afternoon and decided to walk to the pharmacy to pick up some exfoliating scrub for my feet.

On the way home, I passed two goth kids heading, I assume, back to school after their lunch. I know this doesn't sound like anything but trust me, as someone who is usually the passed and not the passer, it was awesome. In a side note, I'd been coming up on them for three blocks before I realized one of the girls was a boy. What is up with that?

In a sudden topic change...am I the only person who's seen the Old Spice commercial with Bruce Campbell playing Hungry Like the Wolf on a piano, lounge act style? Perhaps it is my well known admiration for all things Bruce but this cheesy commercial absolutely cracks me up. Ah, Bruce, I do adore you.

Well - time to take a shower. I smell really bad.

Another cute little thing

My cats love this. They're fascinated by it.

The virtual kitten. Adorable.

Let's Go Mag-glio

How cute is Matt in this picture? Love it.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I'm just back from a quick trip to Michigan to visit the in-laws. My dad came up from Iowa on Friday afternoon and brought Breadeaux Pizza with him. My favorite! I was very excited because we can't get it here in Chicago. We set out for Michigan about 6:30 - hoping to avoid the worst of the Memorial Day weekend traffic. There was still a lot of traffic but I do think we did ourselves a favor by waiting a little bit before we took off. I remembered to take the portable dvd player this time and the trip really flew by for me!

The weekend was fun. I went shopping at Wal-Mart. That may sound pretty routine but it was a treat for me since we don't really have them here in the city. I needed some cheap summer clothes and I was able to get them. Plus I stocked up on underwear and socks! I also bought a Detroit Tigers t-shirt so that I could fit in with Mike's family. I have a lot of work to do, though, before I will be able to convince anyone I watch baseball. For starters, I can't remember the name of the guy whose shirt I have. I think it amuses Mike because even when I'm wearing it (it has the name and number on it) I'm like, "what's this guy's name again?" He's a pitcher. Justin, I think...something that starts with V? I'll ask Mike again in the morning and we'll see how long I retain the information. Hey...I'm making an effort, all right? :D

Mike was also amused at my expense because his mom told me I should have gotten Magglio's number because he's her favorite player and I came home and said that they didn't have any of his. Mike's like, "Yeah, they did." And I said, "Mike, I checked every shirt there when she said that he was her favorite...there was no Magglio shirt." Mike thought this was just hilarious. Apparently Magglio's his FIRST name. Geez - how do I know that? Yeesh.

Sunday was the b-b-q and dicey tournament. Mike lost his Polska crown to my dad. That's right! The title is currently held by a non-Polack. My father-in-law accused me of bringing in a ringer. I blame Laurie - the only Kurczewski-Piekarski member who didn't show. I have no real logic for this - it's just fun to blame Laurie. :D

I was, of course, knocked out in the first round. Boooooooooo. The top three places made it to the final round where they'd meet the top three from the other table. I traded second and third place back and forth with my brother-in-law, Scott for most of the game. Mike, Kristie and Uncle Gene had trouble getting on the board with a score and so I thought I was pretty safe. Then Mike rolled this HUGE 4,050 point roll in the second to last roll of the game to pass both me and Scott. Scott managed to stay ahead of me long enough to slide into the third place spot, effectively knocking me out of the running.

I didn't really mind being knocked out, though, as it gave me some free time which I spent outside playing with Baby JO-ey. He tried to convince me to play freeze tag but since he told me that I had to stay frozen until the sun went down if he caught me, I declined and we played I Spy instead. I'm pretty sure he cheats. Sneaky.

After the b-b-q, my mother-in-law and I got together the cloth swatches we'd gotten from Joann's to send to Sara for her quilt.

Note to Sara: We didn't trim down the fabric, we sent it all because I couldn't 100% remember the proper dimensions.

So those are packaged up and ready to be shipped out (hopefully tomorrow). I rely on Mike to do my mailing for me. It's such a pain for me to get to the post office and it's never a pleasant experience.

Then it was back home today. The cats were glad to see us but not as excited that my dad had come back with us. Meme is absolutely horrid when he's around and I don't understand it. The only thing we can figure is that she smells the puppies on him.

I took a 1.25 mile walk this evening which I was pretty psyched about. I plan on taking this walk every day this week and then making it longer next week and so on. Plus (theoretically) it's back to the gym tomorrow.

Mike has discovered this show called Man vs. Wild. Every episode, the guy..."Bear"...strands himself somewhere and has to survive. The first episode Mike watched, he was in Kenya. I happened out of the computer room and Mike said, "This show is awesome! This guy showed how, if you really need water, you can get it from elephant poop." I was like, "Excuse me?" Mike said, "For real. He picked up elephant poop, squeezed out some water and DRANK IT." If this wasn't enough for me, as I was standing there, he happened upon a dead zebra which had been brought down by lions and started to tell you how you can tell if the meat is still good to eat. I already knew that no good could come from this, so I headed for the kitchen. As I started to sort through some things we'd brought back from Michigan with us, I heard Mike yell from the front room, "Awwwww.....he's gnawing on it!" "Oh, gross...raw?" I hollered back. "Yeah. Oh...now he's putting some in his pouch to eat later." I refused to hear anymore. I went back into my little hidey-hole to block it out. I may not know what to do when a rhino charges you or how to get water from elephant poop but somehow I think I'll be alright. Every once in awhile, I heard Mike's "Heh heh heh" laugh and I'd known that "Bear" had done something else I consider to be gross or incredibly stupid but which Mike merely finds, "Cool." Like jumping into a frozen lake to show you how to survive hypothermia. That was in the second episode Mike watched.

Must be a man thing.

Sweet Home Chicago

Mike and I are back from a short weekend visit to Michigan. Mike went out to go and grab us a quick something for dinner and discovered that our car battery was dead. Oy. I hate coming back to reality.

Virtual Lite Brite!

Lite Brite!

Cleaning out my email

I am suffering with a bout of insomnia. This whole week's been pretty bad. I have pills to help but I'm afraid to take them more than once a week for fear that before long I'll be unable to sleep without them. I decided to take this time to clean out my email a little bit. I looked in my "All Mail" section to find that I've saved over 1200! I was pretty sure some of those could be deleted.

As I was weeding through and ruthlessly deleting, I came across this email from my mom. It's right after she'd discovered her saying.

Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2003 00:19:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "Linda"
Subject: Matthew
To: Lucinda
CC: Jeff

When I think of Matthew and I get tearful, I know it is really selfishness that makes me cry. I would not wish Matt back to make him suffer further, but I cry for me because I miss him so much, and that may not change. But I came across a page of those little inspirational sayings that might help a little.

"Don't cry because it's over, but smile because it happened,"

That's the way I would like to be able to handle dealing with Matt's death. I hope I'm not putting too much on you, but I thought it was worth sharing.

I kept it.

The grades are in!

**Ahem**
Cumulative GPA
3.945

Somebody call Baby Joey!

Tonight for dinner, Mike and I are having $5 pizza, which is Joey's favorite kind! I have been noticing all of the Little Caesar's restaurants around the city lately. Ever since I finally broke down and asked what the heck "$5 pizza" was. Joey's Aunty (Mike's mom), Mom (Mike's cousin, Andrea) and Grandma (Mike's Aunty Bren) were always joking about how much he loves it.

Since Joey's family is (probably) taking a short trip to Chicago this summer, I'm sure he'll be relieved to know that Mike and I can find the $5 pizza place.

My Weekend

What did we do this weekend, you ask? A LOT! We were barely home. We ate dinner with friends, shopped for a couple of new work polos for Mike, bought a dressy summer shirt for me, attended a dinner party with Mike's Hammond Health Dept. co-workers, slept in and missed church (oopsy), played kickball, drank beer, ate pulled pork and the weekend culminated in the ultimate....a movie. What movie you ask?


This one.

I love having the weekends to spend with Mike.

Mike, Rachael and Aaron

I was sorting through some of my pictures when I came across this one that we took in Michigan at a fruit farm. It always makes me a laugh, so I thought I'd share it.

Cat Tales and the anti-Switzerland

Mike informed me last night that Meme is going to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese tonight followed by a slumber party. She's going to play skeeball ("kebaw," in Meme speak) and maybe some whack-a-mole (whackmo). Also, she upset with Furio because he hit on her first grade teacher, Miss Henderson (Miss Hed-son). She's very happy about the Pistons moving on in the play-offs - she's still crazy about Tayshaun Prince (Tay-saw Pince).

I had thought that the Bulls-Pistons series was long over until I read in Kelly's blog that the Bulls had inexplicably won a couple of games. There was an almost apathetic feel around the city about the Bulls being in the play-offs. There was Bear-mania in the city even before they went to the play-offs simply because they were winning. And that year the Cubs were in the play-offs (and choked) it was nuts! I'm not sure we'll ever find out what the mood would be like in the city if the Blackhawks were in the playoffs - I don't think they'll ever make it to the playoffs.

When Chicago plays Detroit, we attempt to adapt some sort of neutrality treaty in the household. Like Switzerland. The same goes for Iowa/Michigan State games. It usually doesn't take. One of us can't seem to help taunting the other. And no it's not always me, Dad.

Mike told me to "break out the broom" just before Game 4 of the Bulls-Pistons series. Since I'm not a big basketball person, it didn't really bother me - I just kinda shook my head and rolled my eyes. Then I noticed that there was no follow up taunt that evening. I had to look up the score on nba.com and saw that (amazingly) the Bulls had won. After I'd looked it up, I sauntered into the living room where Mike was sitting on the couch watching tv and asked him who'd won the game. He muttered, "The Bulls won." To which I replied, "HA! I know. I checked the score online. In your FACE! I rule you!" (Sometimes I amaze even myself with my depth of maturity.) I know that I'm not interested in basketball...but I couldn't let a taunt go unanswered, could I?

Mike apparently has the same philosophy because last night he informed me that "Ben Wallace is breaking out his golf clubs about now."

La Vita Nuova

A little e.e. cummings in the morning

I made it!

Whew. I made it through my first mother's day as a motherless mongrel. I didn't do too badly, actually. I had a watery moment when Mike called his mom because I wanted to call MY mom so bad. But I made it - one day at a time.

Happy Mother's Day

This post is dedicated to my mom, Linda. Please take a moment today and say a prayer or light a candle in memory of her.

For Mom
Linda Harris, 01/18/49 - 08/25/06

"Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you." -- Saint Francis de Sales

YaY! Happy birthday, Aaron!

Brilliant!

I want cookies. I'm hungry and I can practically smell them. I'll bake some! Brilliant!

Hrm. No eggs. No vanilla. No brown sugar. I'll go to the store! Brilliant!

No car. I'll walk! Brilliant!

I'm hungry and I'll end up with 4,000 things when I only went for 3. I'll have to carry all that stuff back. I'll borrow a shopping cart and take it back when I'm done! Brilliant!

Dominick's has a new anti-theft device on their shopping carts. They lock up if you take them beyond the perimeter of the parking lot. Mike likes cookies. Mike will want cookies! I'll make Mike take me to the store when he gets home. Brilliant!

I'm hungry now. Mike doesn't get home until 5:00. Poop.

I hate that!

Don't you just hate it when you look at your checking account online and are dazzled by the amount of money you have...only to realize that your rent check hasn't cleared yet and you don't have as much money as you'd thought.

*Sigh*

Stupid rent.

How do I love thee?

Today my Aunt Linda blogged about my mom and how my Uncle Mike misses her. Uncle Mike was Mom's baby brother and you would be hard pressed to find anyone she loved more. Now there are a variety of reasons why she loved Uncle Mike but tonight I'd like to share one very simple reason that *I* do.

When my mom had her first heart attack, there was a few days where we seemed to float in limbo - not knowing what the whole story was. At first it was a blood clot, then a mild heart attack, then a medium one, then more serious. Every day her condition seemed to get more serious but the doctors weren't in a big hurry to do anything and so I tried not to worry too much about it. Then all of a sudden one day, things seemed to go bad all at once. Her blood pressure took a nose dive and they decided to air care her to Genesis in the Quad Cities - where they specialize in heart related surgeries etc. They heliport-ed her up there, took her in immediately for a cardiac catheterization and put four stents in her arteries.

It could have been a disaster, but it wasn't. She survived. I, mercifully, was unaware of what was going on until it was all over. My dad didn't call my cell phone and I didn't get home from work until after 9 p.m. While I hate that I didn't know what was happening, I was spared a lot of heartache and worry - for which I am grateful.

Now I was not there to witness this but I heard it from my mom on numerous occasions. It was a "favorite" of her war stories...if you can have favorite stories about heart surgeries. (Her absolute favorite being my Mike's "homicide attempt" against her while she was recovering.) Only seven months passed between my mom's surgery and her death but I probably heard this seven or more times. She could never get all the way through the story without tearing up.

In the first hours/day or so after her surgery, the prognosis was good but guarded. It was still the early stages and there were no guarantees. My Aunt Linda and Uncle Mike had been at the hospital when things went bad with my mom and they went with my Dad to Genesis when they air cared her out. They sat with her while she came out of anesthesia. She was groggy and didn't remember much of anything after the surgery but she remembered Mike being there. (At this point in the story, she'd get teary and sniffle her way through the rest.) He stayed with her until she was awake enough to recognize him and know that he was there with her. That meant so much to her - that he'd stayed. And that he wouldn't leave until she knew he was there. She felt so loved.

Like I said, there are a bunch of reasons to love Uncle Mike but that's one of mine. And, for me, it's a big one.

40 Perspectives

Do we really need a book that looks at Winston Churchill from 40 different perspectives? Really?

Guess who turns 30 the day after tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll give you a hint. It's Aaron!

Tales from a gym journal

So, I got a site meter which tells me how many people visit me in the blogosphere. I was playing around with options and it was free - so why not? It tells me where you are, how long you stay, how many pages you view, what website you click in from (if any), if you used a search engine to get there, it'll tell me what you were looking for, which of my links you use to click off from and your median income. Ok, I made that last one up. Hee hee. It does offer to show me the latitude and longitude of your location, though - so prepare to be stalked. I'll be the one outside of your house in the rain shouting, "But we have a CONNECTION. We're meant to be together!"

Anyway, most of the locations, I recognize. It doesn't always tell me exactly what town you're in - it's actually where your IP address is based out of which may be somewhere nearby but not the same exact city. It's sort of a fun game..."Oh...there's Aunt Linda. That's Jeff. Sara in the hizz-ouse. That's gotta be dad. Rachael visited at 2:24 a.m. - what the heck's she doing up that late?" Kristie made her monthly visit to the blog. Geez, Kristie...where's the love? I'm interesting ALL THE TIME. :D

What was I saying? Oh yeah - so I'm scrolling down the list and playing my "who's who" game. I notice that there are two stops from Chapel Hill, NC. I click on it and it turns out this person was looking for "gym journal" in a search engine and was pointed to our little section of cyberspace. I had to LAAAAUGH. Two archive entries about how I hate the gym and I'm labeled as a gym journal.

That's right - this is a gym journal. Just call me Buff Betty. :D Which may, interestingly enough, become my roller derby name when I'm (hopefully) rolling for the Windy City Rollers in a year or two. But that's a story for another day.

Enjoy the day, kids. It's nice out.